Bloodstream
by KatastrophicKat
Summary: Expanded from my O/S "Habits"
1. Chapter 1

Hello readers! My lovely fic-twin Lady Kathryn unknowingly inspired this. It is currently a O/S but the plot bunnies may demand more.. Without further ado...

**Habits **

**A Quil/Bella One-Shot **

(~_~_~_~_~_~)

Spend my days locked in a haze  
>Trying to forget you babe<br>I fall back down  
>Gotta stay high all my life<br>To forget I'm missing you  
>Ooh-ooh, ooh-ooh<p>

(~_~_~_~_~_~)

It was worse than ever before..

First, Edward had left her. She'd been sad of course, but for some reason she had seemed to drown in the after-shock of it. Jacob helped piece her together but then he left too. They'd held each other together when Embry just took off with Sam Uley's gang..

She thought when Jacob left, she'd at least still have Quil.. Oh Quil.

Quil had quickly become important to her. One year was all it had taken to take her from broken to Bella again. Jacob, Quil and Embry had been with her for the first six months through nightmares and cold chills that had invaded her, almost like a sinkhole of life. Charlie, being the absentee father that he was, agreed the trio of young men could stay as long as they behaved. He'd known them since diapers and trusted them completely.. But then they all started to disappear. Three months of Embry being gone and them all banding together, trying to have faith he would come back..

And for the last three months it was just her and Quil. Jacob was gone. They'd seen him hanging around with Embry, which could only mean he too had joined Sam's gang. She and Quil had leaned on each other. They'd both lost two friends, and been left with each other.

Somewhere in those three months alone, Bella had fallen in love with Quil. He was the total package. He was attractive, funny and even smart when he wanted to be. He knew how to sit in silence (though he couldn't sit still) while Bella was reading. He washed the dishes when she cooked so she could relax. He ran his fingers through her hair after a nightmare and greeted her with a cup of coffee in the mornings. Jake and Quil had cleaned out one of the old storage rooms (full of Renee's crap she had left behind) and made it into a crash pad for them. Quil still stayed there. He even kept it tidy so Bella wouldn't be tempted to clean up any messes in there.

Though the sting of Embry and Jacob leaving was still there, Quil was like a soothing balm. She seemed to do anything to make him laugh, enjoying the way it coursed through her like electricity. Quil made her feel alive and a little less damaged.

On her graduation, Jacob and Embry had sent Bella a bouquet of flowers. It was sitting on the porch when they went to leave.. And Bella had burst into tears. The card was the standard 'Best Wishes and Congrats' and wasn't even signed by them directly. It was worse than if they had sent nothing at all. Quil had gotten rid of the offending floral arrangement and held Bella close to him the entire way to her school. Bella had calmed at his scent and his ever present warmth.. Charlie had no comment.

After dinner at The Lodge, Charlie had been called in to the station. The Chief was always on call and Bella was used to it. He'd dropped Bella and Quil off and left..

Perhaps if he had stayed, things would be slightly better. Perhaps if he had never let the guys become such a large part of her, Bella would be fine.. But she's not any longer.

(~_~_~_~)

Bella returned home and noted that the house was entirely empty. She was alone, as usual.. Perfect.

She went up to her room, threw open her window and sat down on the bench she'd gotten that made it look almost like a window box. She reached in her jacket and pulled out the pill bottle full of joints she had just purchased from Mike Newton. She never thought in school he would be good for anything but eh, she didn't have the best track record of being right when it came to who to trust..

She slouched down in the window, staring out at the trees and rain as she lit up. She grabbed the remote for her stereo and hit the power button, she words of "Habits" by Tove Lo filling the room. She had the whole album, but she whole point had been that one song..

She started feeling the lift of her high after about three full inhale/exhales of the herb and felt mellow, almost normal..

Mary-Jane had quickly become her friend. It locked her in a haze that made their abandonment bareable. She sometimes paired it with alcohol when she had the extra cash, but she didn't like feeling like she was going to be sick and then the lovely herb preventing it... No fun.

"Spend my days locked in a haze, trying to forget you babe.." She whisper sang, exhaling her last hit slowly before gently putting out the halfer and placing it back in her bottle. Had the house not already smelled a bit musty due to the rain, she was sure Charlie would have known about her habit..

She leaned her head against the window frame and let the music and high carry her away.. Unfortunately, she strayed somewhere she didn't want to be.. Memories...

_Quil, brushing her hair behind her ear with that adorable smile of his.._

_Quil, tickling her in order to gain control of the television remote.._

She shook her head, trying to dispel the memories. She knew what would have came next. She pulled the halfer out, intending to bliss herself out. A hollow feeling was starting to well up within her and she couldn't take it. She knew why..

She moved to lay on her bed, smirking at the little smoke rings she would make in the air as she stared at the ceiling. It was a good thing she could still lay in this bed.. She couldn't even go in the 'guest room' anymore. She hadn't been able to since...

_Quil flipped the lock on the front door out of habit as Bella kicked off her graduation shoes with a groan. She tossed her cap and gown on the couch and motioned to her dress, "I'm going to get out of this thing. I haven't been in an actual dress since Alice and it irks me that the only one I actually wanted to wear to graduation was FROM her."_

_Quil nodded, "I'm gonna change too. Dress clothes totally cramp my style."_

_Bella giggled, "At least you didn't say swag. I hate that word."_

"_If I ever say swag, please.. take me out with a baseball bat."_

"_Deal."_

_Bella changed into a black pair of yoga pants and a black racer-back tanktop. She wiped the light makeup off her face and was in the process of taking her hair down on the way to Quil's room._

_She stopped in her tracks after she kneed the door open. It hadn't been entirely closed. Quil always closed the door when he was unavailable. Then again, she also always knocked. Why didn't she knock?_

_It wasn't as if she'd never seen Quil without a shirt, but it had been awhile. She felt like her world was going almost in slow motion. The door opened to reveal Quil clad in a pair of low-rise black jeans, the waistband of his forest green boxers peeking over the rim as he went to pull off his dress shirt, revealing the black wife-beater he had on underneath.. And his very toned upper half. He had gained definition somewhere.. Where..? She caught a flash of abs before he was turning, surprised to see her there as he tossed the dress shirt on his bed. His heart started beating a little faster as her hair fell down in golden chestnut waves when he looked at her.._

"_Bells? You okay?"_

_It was as if she had no control over herself.. She stepped forward and traced the contours of his arm muscles, "Uhm.."_

_He tensed slightly and she felt her insides flutter when his body flexed. "Bells...?"_

_Their eyes met.. Her warm carmel color meeting his dark chocolate color.. Her breath caught in her throat. Her heart was pounding so loud. "Quil."_

_She didn't know who moved first, and she honestly didn't care. All she knew was that she was kissing Quil with every bit of feeling she had in her. His hands were locked in her hair, her body was almost fused to his and he tasted like the peppermints he had been sucking on from The Lodge. A thrill went through her when she ran her fingers along his waistband and then under his shirt, discovering the abs she had never known he had- he hadn't had them last time. _

_A soft moan from Bella entered Quil's mind and he broke away from her, panting as if he'd just run a marathon.. But he didn't let her go. He didn't move away. _

"_Bells.. We have to stop this. I care for you, maybe a little more than I should considering.. If we don't stop now.."_

"_Don't stop." She whispered against his lips, shocking him._

"_What?"_

"_I said- Don't stop. I don't want you to stop, Quil. I want you."_

_He looked almost pained, "I can't lose you as a friend, Bells..."_

"_You aren't losing a friend. You're gaining something much better." She purred. _

_Quil's resolve snapped. She heard the door slam closed as she was pressed against it. It was almost frenzied as they dueled for dominance. Finally, he spun her and pressed her into his mattress. There was the sound of straining and then ripping fabric, the coolness of the air on her bare skin and then nothing but waves and waves of pleasure. Her moans filled the room with delicious sounds as Quil's fingers brushed up against secret places inside of her and his tongue stroked her ever higher. _

_She was vaguely aware of him talking dirty to her, but she couldn't answer. She just kept burning, flying higher and higher. "Let go, Bella!" He ordered and she was done for, moaning his name and gripping his sheets, bucking against his tongue as he greedily lapped up everything she had to give. _

_She felt him move over her, between her legs and she welcomed his weight there. "I can't be gentle." He growled in her ear, rubbing his silky thickness against her swollen folds. "Last chance to back out."_

_All she could do was shake her head. She crashed their lips down as he plunged into her. She was aware of the new tangy taste of her own essence but all thoughts were swept away as he hitched her leg up higher. Bella became intimately aquainted with the phrase 'pounded into the mattress' as he moved within her. She felt herself about to climax again, but this time Quil was rubbing against her clit and practically begging her to cum with him. She had no choice but to comply. She was flying, seeing stars and holding onto Quil for dear life, feeling the wet heat of him emptying inside her. _

_As she came down, nestled in his arms, she heard him.. "I love you, Bells. I love you so much."_

_She placed a kiss over his heart, "I love you too, Quil."_

Tears rolled down her eyes without permission as she stared at the ceiling. She had loved him, had given herself to him. They had talked about a life together, had made love so many times in his bed.. Now he was gone.

She heard the howl of a wolf, sounding almost as heartbroken as her. Quil was gone... And without Quil.. She was nothing.

"I've gotta stay high, all the time. To forget I'm missing you..." She whispered to her ceiling, the roach from her joint, long since burned out, falling from her fingers and [luckily for her] into the cracks of her floorboard..


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 2

I wish that I could wake up with amnesia  
>And forget about the stupid little things<br>Like the way it felt to fall asleep next to you  
>And the memories I never can escape<p>

"**Amnesia" by 5 Seconds of Summer**

(~_~_~_~_~_~)

Quil dropped limply into the leaf litter in the woods outside Bella's house. He felt so physically drained it was like he was sick. But he couldn't get sick, not anymore.

He heard the music coming from Bella's open window. Once, he was close enough to smell the lingering scent of the marijuana she had taken to smoking.. A normal human wouldn't be able to smell it. But he wasn't a normal human, not anymore.

He wished he could go back in time, knowing what he knew now. He would cut and run before Bella could ever be hurt by him. He would keep his distance so he didn't fall in love with her.

Just the thought of not loving Bella Swan made his heart scream in pain and agony.

So there he was.. A pathetic excuse for a chocolate wolf, laying in leaf litter behind his ex's house- though ex what he couldn't be sure. Had she been his girlfriend? His lover? Nothing described how they were perfectly.

He knew he was perfectly miserable.

The day he was "given the gift" of being a protector was like a black mark on his soul.. Though he was given the answer to a question that had stuck in his brain for days, weeks, months- It cost him everything.

So there he was. A giant, miserable, pathetic excuse for a chocolate protector wolf, reunited with his two former best friends (ALSO protectors) and thrust into a pack of other wolves that came weighed down with secrets, rules and utter bullshit!

THEN! He finds out that the area's rich and snobby elite are actually VAMPIRES.. Vampires bent on stealing away the girl of his dreams, love of his life and [former] future mother of his children. He thought they had cut and run after Edward's little disappearing act, but that was a lie.

He had been ordered by his Alpha, one Sam Uley, to stay away from Bella. He was told he was dangerous, that he could kill or maim her. He thought it was bullshit that just because Sam had hurt his imprint, Emily Young, that the standard was applied to the entire pack.

_'Look alive, Chocolate Drop!' _the mental voice of Paul Lahote filtered into his brain._ 'Sam's about to phase in and if he sees you laying in the muck pining over Bella instead of looking alert and protecting her, he's going to bite your tail off.'_

Oddly enough, Paul was on his side. The older teen-adult had been against ordering Quil away. He'd even been against keeping Embry and Jacob away for so long. Once control was maintained, proven and vetted they should have been given free roaming rights. Granted, Paul was STILL on 'Wolf Parole' and he'd been phasing for over a year now... But that's neither here nor there.

Quil sighed and hefted his body up, resuming his trail around the Swan home.. His former home.

_'Thanks Paul.' _

_'Quil.. I'm on your side. What he's done to her.. It didn't need to be done. Those leeches drew her in with their vampire pheromones then cut her loose. She needed you.. And Sam took you all away too. She kept their secret. In the beginning, I didn't like her. But now, knowing her through you, I see how wrong I was. I'll help in any way I can.'_

Being ordered to not even think of Bella, Paul didn't really know what Bella looked like. A loophole was that he think of Bella without thinking of BELLA. So when he thought of her, all anyone saw was a faceless, plain female..

Paul popped out and he felt the domineering presence of Sam.

'Quil, you're off shift. Jacob's coming in. Come back to mine and we can see if you're ready to be released into the trials.'

And so, off he trotted... Away from Bella and towards Sam's house.

(~_~_~_~)

It had never been thought that perhaps Bella could be the imprint of one of the boys. So far, imprinting was a curse in all their minds. It took away the choice of who to pick in a life mate. A big shiny fucking BALL AND CHAIN tethering them to anyone- a stranger, an ex, an enemy..

So far, there were two.

Sam imprinted on Emily. He had been a new wolf. After his disappearing act, Leah Clearwater had dumped him. A few weeks later, Emily had come to visit her favorite cousin for the summer. He ran into her at the local grocery store and BAM! But Emily knew who Sam was. She'd refused him, called him crazy, ignored him... The final straw had been her cussing at him when she had walked past his house back to Leah's and he had caught up to her. Her constant refusal had angered his wolf, and in turn him- so he phased. It was purely accident, but a paw had caught Emily. She was scarred for life, unable to tell anyone that it wasn't really a bear that had caught her.. It was Sam.

Jared Cameron, Beta to Sam, had imprinted on a girl named Kim Conweiller. She was two years his junior. They'd had a few elective classes together, but he'd never noticed her. And why should he have? She was young, not his type- And apparently his stalker. Where he used to look right through her, his first day back at school he had looked TO her. Kim had been the girl who had dreamed of being Mrs. Jared Cameron.. The kind of girl who loved only what she saw on the outside and in social settings. She didn't know the real Jared. She had latched on like a leech, taking her role as his destiny with glee..

After getting to know Emily and Kim, Embry and Jake were almost terrified to look at women.. Paul had faith he could fight whatever happened. He enjoyed women, and women enjoyed him. The fact that he was barely legal didn't matter to them.. He was a hot hunk of stud and they wanted a ride.

Quil phased at Sam's treeline and, automatically now, pulled on a pair of cutoffs. Jake and Embry were lounging on Sam's porch talking to Emily. They had taken to their new role like ducks to water once they were reunited. They had claimed to miss him.. Still claim to miss Bella... But Quil was unsure.

Quil was put through his paces by Sam. He was insulted, beaten, mocked.. And though he waivered when he began to speak about Bella, he remained human.

His eyes pleaded with Sam to let him go see Bella.. To let him off probation.. To free him..

But all he got was "Better."


	3. Chapter 3

So leave the memories alone  
>I don't want to see<br>The way it is, as to how it used to be  
>Leave the memories alone, don't change a thing<br>And I'll hold you here in my memory

"Leave the Memories Alone" by FUEL

(~_~_~_~_~_~_~)

Bella had managed to land a job.. Newton's Outfitters. She really hadn't cared but Charlie seemed to be getting suspicious so she went and applied. Mike had let her out of the piss test, offering to 'vouch for her' if he got something out ot it. A couple squeezes on her left boob and Bella was hired.

The job wasn't bad. She basically stood at the register all day, reading books or magazines while ringing up to occasional customer. At slow times, Mike would motion for them to head out back and they'd stand in the blind spot of the camera to smoke a few hits.

She coasted along for a few months, numb to the events of her own life. Charlie never made her pay anything so her bank account was healthy, though her mindset was not. She often thought of Quil.. Okay a little more than often.

The day finally came that she took a hard look in the mirror. She started wondering what exactly about her had repelled not only Quil, but her friends in Jake and Embry.. So she decided to do something about it.

She booked an appointment in some high-dollar salon in Port A for the works.. Her long, flowing, waist length hair was hacked off up to her shoulders and layered. She'd even had a few pink and purple streaks thrown in. She got a crash course in make-up application and then bought what she would need to maintain. Her whole salon trip rang up to the tune of about $300.00 but it didn't really phase her. What did she need to spend money on?

The next step was her closet. She kept her yoga pants- they were comfortable to lounge around in, even if they did remind her of the ones Quil had shredded their first time together. She could cover the thoughts in smoke.. Gone were any flannel shirts, button up shirts, or shirts that included light colors or any variation of innocence.. White was abolished entirely. She went to stores like HotTopic, Fredrick's of Hollywood, TORRID and a few obscure online stores. Her new wardrobe was slightly more than she'd anticipated, but she'd ended up burning all the underwear Quil had ever touched (bras included) so she had to re-supply. No more Converse, but boots of all different kinds- buckles and zippers, chains and studs.

Now looking in the mirror, she didn't see girl-next-door Bella, she saw a new Bella.. A Bella that didn't take shit from anyone and looked like she'd stomp a hole in your face if you so much as breathed wrong. She was edgy, rough and honestly she thought she looked good.

The next day at work, Mike's eyes had bulged out of his head and she'd noticed an instant shifting as he tried to readjust. He told her he looked great and different.. She knew what he meant was she looked hot and dangerous.

It suited her purposes just fine. She didn't think of Quil when she looked in the mirror.. She found the strength to delete photos of them together she'd kept on her phone. She deleted his number, along with those of Jake and Embry. She boxed up items of his that she'd found in her room and instead of keeping them, she FedEx'd them back to him without so much as a 'Fuck You' letter.

Nights were still bad unless she smoked herself to oblivion. The memories always assaulted her.

_She and Quil were enjoying the sunny spring day. He'd coaxed her outside with kisses and caresses.. Eventually, he had talked her into re-planting and re-vamping her grandma Swan's old garden. Nothing had been growing there for years, though the odd stick-looking plant occasionally came around. It would spring up for a few days as if to say Hello and then be gone. He assured her the flowers and plants he picked were quite suited for Washington weather. _

_She'd been wrist deep in soil when the spider crawled across her upper arm. She'd screamed and began failing around. She'd heard a deep chuckle and turned to see Quil with the spider. She cringed._

"_It's harmless, Bells. They call it a Grandaddy Longlegs." _

"_Quil, it's a spider. Get it away from me." Her voice shook with her fear._

_Quil tossed the spider over his shoulder and pulled her to him, soil smearing across his bare chest. "I'll never let anything hurt you.. Not a spider, or a bee, or even a snowflake."_

_She'd felt safe and loved. By the end of it all, their garden was beautiful. Charlie had come home to them sitting together on the porch swing admiring their work. He'd smiled, wished them a good job and offered to order pizza.. Quil had snuck a sweet kiss as the screen door closed._

She looked out at that garden now.. It was dead, just like her insides. Any plants left over were brown and crispy.. The soil was black and hard. That's what she was without Quil.. A garden un-tended.

(~_~_~_~)

Her world spun two weeks after her re-do. She'd been reading a magazine article half-heartedly.. She'd heard the bell, tuned out Mike's chipper-ness due to getting some from Jessica Stanley and kept flipping. A dark figure came up in the peripheral of her vision and she looked up..

She wished she hadn't.

Pain instantly filled her as she took in the form of Jacob Black. He was taller, buffer, and the hair she'd once taken joy in had been shorn off. He even had a tattoo on his right bicep. She growled at herself and forced all the feelings threatening to explode deep inside.

"Will this be all for you?" She'd asked, true to her job description.

She saw an emotion, pain, fill his eyes, "Bells.. I-"

"Save it. I'm at work. Will this be all?"

"Yeah.. Just some fishing gear for the big trip."

The big trip.. The yearly trip where Charlie and Billy would go out on the boat with Harry Clearwater and drink themselves stupid trying to catch fish. They'd be gone for two weeks. Bella forced back the memory trying to re-surface of last year's big trip. She failed.

_She was laying on her stomach reading a book, her tanktop riding up slightly when she felt a wiggling sensation._

_When she reached back to scratch, she felt something squishy and slightly furry.. Naturally, she'd screamed and flipped over. A beautiful little caterpillar squirmed a bit before starting to make it's way across her blanket, and she heard two fountains of laughter erupt. She turned her glare on Quil and Jake, trying to look innocent by sitting on the porch._

"_JACOB! QUIL! WHAT THE HELL!?" She'd yelled, still feeling squirmy from having something on her bare skin._

"_Oh lighten up, Bells." Jake crowed, his sunny smile on his face, "We'd been trying to talk to you for thirty minutes now. Put down that book and give us some attention!"_

_She glared good naturedly, but walked over to sit between them anyway. _

_During that trip, they'd had water fights (freezing), a food fight (messy) and wrestled (breaking a lamp in the living room).. It had been one of the best days since Embry had left._

Bella swallowed her sigh and gave Jacob his total, slamming the register shut.

"Mike, I'm going on break." She yelled to the blonde, turning away from the former-customer without a word.

As if a reflex, she went to the blind-spot and pulled her halfer out of her vest pocket, lighting it very quickly. She felt the cool tingle spread through her..

She was almost back level until she heard the one voice..

"Bells?"


	4. Chapter 4

Now I got something you have to see  
>They put something inside of me<br>The smile is red and its eyes are black  
>I don't think I'll be coming back<br>I don't believe, and I  
>I had to see, and I<br>I came back haunted

"**Came Back Haunted" - Nine Inch Nails**

(~_~_~_~_~)

It was supposed to be quite routine. Jake offered to 'test' Quil in Forks. He'd heard Lauren Mallory and Jessica Stanley talking about Bella and had veered off to the back of the building to stay under control. He'd caught her scent, but figured she'd recently been there. He was unfocused, unprepared.

The scent was fresh...

He'd looked up and there she was.. She had the joint to her lips and a black-nailed hand on her hips. Her eyes were black lined and glossy.. But he still felt it.

His world spun. He felt chains almost leap out of his body, pulling him towards Bella. He wanted to weep with joy and with sorrow. He could feel her broken soul. He did that to her. It had already been fractured, and then he had accepted the gift of her heart before disappearing like the others.

He had been the final nail in her coffin.

The rational Quil that still remained was screaming at him to turn away. To let her heal and to live a broken and horrible life because that's what he deserved for tainting such a pure and innocent love.. But..

"Bells?"

It flew out of him without permission, without thought. He felt Jake moving to intercept him.. But it was too late.

He watched as a flood of emotions flew through Bella's eyes... Pain, anger, shock, betrayal, heartbreak, longing and even love that he did not deserve.

Her voice glossed over all of those. It was hard as steel and cold with indifference, "Quil."

He took a step forward, she took one back. It felt like barbed-wire slicing into his heart.

"Bells.. I.."

"NO!" She screamed, "You don't get to talk to me! You had your chance! You were gone! Countless phone calls... Texts.. I was even thinking of damn smoke signals! I was halted at the Rez border and told to leave! I WAS ABANDONED! AGAIN!"

She turned and fled into the store the same time Jake caught him.

Quil dropped to his knees and put his head in his hands.

Jake knelt by him, "Q.. What happened?"

"She hates me. I always knew it was her.. Always.. And now it's ruined. It's no more than I deserve." He whispered in agony, tears falling like acid rain. The pain.. It hurt so badly to breathe. It felt like his heart was bleeding out.

He could feel her. He had been right. Bella was the only one meant for him and he had all but killed that beautiful girl that made his heart beat faster and slower. She had intoxicated her with his kisses and he had inhaled her into his bloodstream.. His blood.. So tainted. He wanted to claw at his skin so he could be rid of the horrible 'gift' he had been given, but he knew he would heal.

"Imprint?" Jake asked, dreading the answer. He knew he'd been a horrible friend. He knew what Quil was going through. He'd been taken away from Bella just like Quil had.. Like Embry had. But the difference was Quil was in love with Bella, and Jake had only platonic feelings. He'd been happy to gain Quil back into his life, happy to be able to share with his friend. But this was not his friend. This Quil was broken.. A shell of his former self.. A husk of a chocolate wolf withering away.

"Yes, Jake." Quil whispered, "I imprinted on Isabella Marie Swan.. And she hates me. I will live out as long as I can with my bleeding heart until it finally stops.. And even then it will still belong to her."

Quil stood, ran to the trees and phased, a mournful howl erupting. Jake ran a hand through his hair and sighed before hitting a button on his phone.

"Sam.. He's fine. Let him go, he was just destroyed... He was right."

(~_~_~_~)

Mike left Bella alone for the rest of the day. He could feel the pain pouring from her.

He knew what Jessica and Lauren were saying, and he defended his broken co-worker with every breath. He felt remorse for feeling her up now.. Now that he actually knew her.

He didn't know the man had been her ex friend, Jake.. And he was sure where Jake was, her ex boyfriend Quil was too. She had ran out like a bat out of Hell, and come in shattered. He knew she didn't want to talk..

"Bella, why don't you go clear your head? I'll even clock out for you."

He heard a sniff and then her back straightened. She gave a half smile, a fake smile.. He was used to it.

"Thank you, Mike. I'll see you day after tomorrow, yeah?"

(~_~_~_~)

Her house was silent, as usual. Charlie's note said he had gotten off early and was heading to Billy's to prepare for the trip and he'd see her in two weeks..

Alone.

She trudged up the stairs but paused. The guest room door was open. Her heart pounded. Was someone in her house? Had he thought he could just come back?

She hadn't been in the room for so long...

Against her will, she pushed the door open. It was just as he had left it. The bed was made, poorly in the style of Quil. The basket of clean laundry she had done was sitting on his computer chair. CDs and video game cases littered the floor... And the photos of them- everywhere.

The broke.. She fell to her knees sobbing. She felt deprived of all air. God but it even SMELLED like him in the room there. She couldn't see anything through the blur of tears. She could feel it, the need for Quil swimming through her veins. She was assaulted with the memory of every kiss, every soft touch, every whisper of love.. It was all exploding out of her.

Her vision seemed to be waivering.. That was it. She'd finally cracked. Charlie would come home and either find her dead on the floor or raving mad. Would the coroner write 'Died of Broken Heart' on the death certificate?

She felt arms wrap around her, unfamiliar but warm. She was lifted.. Lifted so high.

Was she going to Heaven? She'd been sure she was meant for Hell.

And so, with the last breath she could muster she breathed

"Quil.."

Darkness overtook her.

(****************************************)

A/N: So! Four chapters.. And I want to know what you all think! No worries, I am still writing. I'm just going to give you all time to process while I hide under a heavily guarded, heavily shielded rock...

Twin, please don't kill me.

I want to thank everyone who encouraged this story, be it on this actual expansion or on the One Shot. The Angst bunnies are quite demanding, and the HEA bunnies are getting a trouncing. I encourage you all to listen to the songs given at the beginning of the chapter, but be warned that it could add to the horrible feelings I am giving you.

WHAT DO YOU ALL THINK WILL HAPPEN?! Leave a review! To those who are Guests, I encourage you to log-in so I can give you a reply.. From my rock.. At it's undisclosed location.

I wish you a wonderful day, week, month of your life and I'll see you all in the next chapter.


	5. Chapter 5

Sometimes the only payoff for having any faith  
>Is when it's tested again and again everyday<br>I'm still comparing your past to my future  
>It might be over, but they're not sutures<p>

"Immortals" - Fall Out Boy

(~_~_~_~_~_~)

Something was wrong...

Quil burst into Sam's house with utter disregard for how the Alpha would react. He was immediately held back by everyone as for some reason, rage began to build inside him.

Then he saw her.

Bella was so still.. Stretched out on Sam's couch. It looked like she was barely breathing. Paul was knelt down beside his sleeping imprint, worry etched on his face.

He deflated. "Why is she here?"

Jacob sighed, running a hand over his head. "After you left, I called Sam to let him know about what happened. He sent Paul to check on you since for some reason you two have this thing going on..."

Oh no, Jacob didn't sound bitter at all.

"Instead of going after you, I went to her. I knew you'd be worried about her anyways. When I got there.. She was..." Paul's eyes met Quil's and the younger man was shocked to see the fracturing pain reflected in his eyes.

"It reminded me of my mom.. The last time I saw her. When dad died.." Paul whispered.

Quil's chest began to heave, the pain returning. "Show me."

The entire pack phased in, leaving Emily to watch over Bella. Quil didn't like that fact, but he HAD to see.. He had to know what he'd done to Bella.

_Paul had heard screaming as he phased out and pulled on his cutoffs. He recognized the house from Quil's memories, but it seemed so haunted. The flowers that Quil remembered were dead, there were no delicious smells wafting from the house and the underlying smell of pot was there. _

_He kicked the door in and paused at the bottom of the stairs, waiting for the next noise. It had gone oddly silent.. Then there it went again._

_He bounded up the steps, and saw her. He knew by taking in the room that it was Quil's.. He knew what had happened in that room. She was collapsed on the floor, gasping for breath. Her makeup was running down her face. Quil had said she was beautiful, and perhaps under the broken mess she currently was, he was right.. _

_He was transported back several years. He was eight years old and running up the steps of his home to tell his mom about the "A" he'd gotten for his family report. As soon as he had opened the door, he'd felt that something was wrong. He'd tossed his things down and ran down the hall, glass from shattered photos crunching under his feet. _

_His mother was curled up among the glass in their room.. Cuts riddled her arms. He knelt down, the shards biting into his knees. He turned her, thankful for the breath coming in small puffs._

"_Mom?" He whispered, "What happened? Were we robbed?"_

_Tears were heavy in her eyes as she simply handed the letter to him. His father was done, killed in action. "Pauly.. My Pauly.. I'm so sorry." She sobbed._

_His mother had died.. Before he'd gotten home, she'd taken everything in her medicine cabinet.. They say she felt no pain, but Paul knew the pain was overwhelming. He had been left alone with his own pain.. Raised by his grandmother until she died the eve of his phase..._

Quil phased back with a yell of agony.

"I killed her! I killed Bella!" He dropped to his knees, clutching his head. He felt the weight of Paul's hand on his shoulder.

"She's not dead, Quil. Nor is she dying. But she is very fractured.. All I could suggest would be to go try to pick up the pieces."

Quil looked up with a glare and trained it on Sam, Jake and Embry. He wanted to rip them apart.

"You three! YOU! Everything was fine until all this shit happened!"

Sam growled, "Being a protector is an honor and a gift."

Quil scoffed, " I wish I could return this gift from HELL." He turned his eyes on Jake and Embry, "We were happy. ALL OF US. WE WERE HAPPY! Then it all started. Embry left, so Jake and I picked up the pieces.. Then JAKE leaves.. And I swore I wouldn't leave her. I promised with everything I was!" Back to Sam, his eyes began to bleed yellow, "Then you.. You all grabbed me, twisted me into this BEAST. You kept me away, make me break her, make me break my HONOR. Now look. Look at what you've created. I'm a monster with a broken mate who hates me beyond belief. I have a so-called pack family who would rather me fall in line like a good soldier than be happy. Two former friends who expect me to just let it all go. HOW?! HOW can I let it go when she's in there BROKEN and my soul is BLEEDING?!"

There was silence, the only sound the creak from the leaves and trees in the woods..

Sam took two steps and squatted to look Quil directly in the eyes, "You will endure. You will do your duty and you will ACCEPT the GIFT that Taha Aki has given you."

"I would rather be dead."

A grim smile twisted Sam's face, "If you die, you kill that girl on my couch you claim to love.. The girl who ran with vampires and kept their secrets. You expect me to feel bad that you lost a few friends, lost your piece of ass and then realized she was meant to stay with you? Pathetic. Until you have to look at scars you caused every day, I expect you to man up and-"

A fist crashing against his cheek brought Sam to the ground. Quil stood over him, his body shaking with rage. He was in awe at Quil's control, "I may have let you talk about her to test my control, but I know better now. Talk about her like that again, and I'll end you."

He turned and walked inside. He slowly lifted his unconscious imprint and, without a word, carried her back out. He held her close, protectively, and carried her to his own home. Paul followed wordlessly, worried for the mate of the one friend he'd had beside Jared he deemed pure.. Quil laid her on his couch and covered her with a blanket. He then sat on the floor, back straight, just waiting.

Paul recognized the ways of the wolf. So he sat with his brother.. And they waited.


	6. Chapter 6

Author's Note! **Welcome to Chapter 6!** I appreciate every review I've gotten! However, I am still hiding from my fic twin as she is threatening my plot bunnies with shotguns.. She's actually a huge HUGE help to my writing and I'm not just saying that because she's my partner on Discissum (which you should also be reading... Are you?... If not, _**GO**_! It'll give you time between chapters..) I also want to take a moment and pimp out her new Sam/Bella fic called UNEXPECTED. It has Cowboy Sam! COME ON! She's also a really great person, and I'm not just saying that because she's my fic twin.. We do have quite a bit of fun on Facebook with our conversations.. Me and my stickers.. ANYWAY!

Thank you also to my avid reviewers ARABELLA WHITLOCK and JASPERS LITTLE DARLIN- You are a great fans.

_**Here we go!**_

*!*!*!*!*!*!*!*!*!*!*!*!*!*!*!*!*!*!*!*!*!*!*!*!*!*!*!*!*!*!*!*!*!*!*!*!*!*!*!*!*!*!*!*!*!*!*!*!*!

On a mountain he sits, not of gold, but of shit  
>Through the blood, he can learn see the life that it took<br>From council of one he'll decide when he's done

"**From Yesterday" - 30 Seconds to Mars**

(~_~_~_~_~_~_~)

"You're not a monster"

Quil looked over at Paul as the older man broke the silence. He stared for a few seconds before simply raising his eyebrow.

"Monsters don't have a heart.. Monsters don't care.. You care. And it's not just because of the imprint like Sam, or like Jared."

Quil sighed, "I love her, with everything I am.. I would break the imprint and set her free if I could, if only so she could run from me. I should have fought harder..."

_Quil burst out of Sam's house and into the pouring rain._

"_Fuck this, and FUCK YOU ULEY! You took away Embry.. And Jake.. I'm all she has left!" _

_Sam stepped out onto the porch, "__**You will not see Isabella Swan, nor run to her. You will not walk, jog or any form of such with leg motion... You will not think of her, you will not attempt to make any contact and you will know your place.**__" His eyes stared at Quil coldly, as if daring him to find a loophole to the order. _

_Quil fell to his knees as his feet stopped. He clenched his teeth and sunk his fingers into the wet Earth of Sam's yard and began pulling his body through the mud. They watched as he made it all the way to the gravel road, his hands opening and closing with small cuts._

"_I won't leave her! I promised! I love her!"_

"_**Stop! Don't move!**__" Sam ordered. Quil collapsed as Sam walked through the rain to the body of the fallen man.. _

"_**Get up**__."_

_Quil stood, moving like a puppet on strings. _

"_Why do you insist on this defiance? I am your Alpha! I command respect!"_

_Quil laughed, a hollow tone. "You command respect? You order me to hurt the only female I've ever loved. What if she's my imprint?"_

_Sam's eyes narrowed, "She is not your imprint. An imprint will better the wolf, the pack and the tribe. How would a little white leech loving female benefit ANYONE?"_

"_If I could move, I would punch you for that..."_

"_Sam.. Maybe we should at least-" Jake tried to cut in._

"_JACOB! Until I am challenged, I am the Alpha here! What I say GOES. Quil, you're on patrol. Paul, with Quil."_

Bella kept her eyes closed, but she had heard Paul and Quil talking. A small part of her forgave him, but the larger did not. She knew that Sam Uley had kept Quil away, but why didn't he send anyone? Why didn't he stay away from them in the first place?

He was right about one thing...

"Quil, you're not a monster."

She whispered.

Two heads snapped towards the female on the couch. They watch as she sat up and smoothed down her hair and wiped her face off.

"Bells?" Quil whispered, turning to look into her eyes.. He was met with ice.

"You are not allowed to call me Bells.. You lost that privledge when you left me. From what I heard, it wasn't your choice.. But you did have smaller choices and you made the wrong ones."

Pain filled his eyes, only to be replaced by worry as she asked, "What the fuck is an imprint and what does it mean for me?"

Quil sighed, wishing he could touch her. He would even settle for her slapping him.

"Imprinting is a side-effect of being a protector.. We shift into wolves and apparently, those wolves will require a life mate at some point. All it takes is one eye to eye look. Some of us, like Jake and Embry and Paul, do not yet have imprints... I imprinted on you."

Bella scoffed, "And that means what for me?"

Paul growled, "It means you are his soul mate, you selfish baby. And he is yours."

"Yeah well that's all well and good but I tend to drown out the yearnings of my soul." She glared at the unknown male in the room, "And who the fuck are you?"

"My name is Paul Lahote.. I'm the one who found you and brought you to the Rez."

"At least now I have a name to tell my dad when he comes back and asks what the fuck happened to his house. In about 2 weeks, you'll be fitted for some steel bracelets. They should look very nice on you, but maybe I should request a fucking shock collar instead, eh Fido?"

Paul stared, floored by the responses she had just given him.. And he did the only thing he could do.

He laughed.

Bella stared at Paul like he'd lost his fucking mind. And maybe he had. What person I their right mind just goes into someone's home, sees a half-dead chick and takes her? Then she did something she hadn't done sober in a long time.

She laughed too.

Paul smiled over at Quil, "I like her. Maybe if you two get your shit together we can all hang out."

Bella rolled her eyes, "You expect me to forgive him? He took my heart, promised to care for it and instead he killed it. He may have had supposed orders, but there's always ways around it."

Paul raised an eyebrow, "Do tell, Princess."

Bella grabbed a couch pillow and slapped him with it, "I'm no one's princess!"

_Quil looked up as Bella came down the stairs in her graduation dress. It was royal blue, with a sheer overlay that made her look "Like a princess."_

_He knew at that moment, Bella would always be his princess..._

Quil flinched, but remained silent. It was obvious Bella didn't even want to be around him, so he figured making her acknowledge his existance would be pointless.

"According to you- nice memory by the way- Sam said HE couldn't contact me or attempt HIMSELF to make contact. So why didn't he send someone else? He could have sent you, because that would not be HIMSELF making contact, it would be a liason. I will give him a few points back for trying to crawl, that's quite touching, but he's way too deep in the hole for it to matter.. Like spitting in the ocean to try to fill it up more. Pointless. Charlie has been to the Rez several times, including for Old Quil's funeral THAT I WAS BARRED FROM.. He could have sent a message with him. He could have went through any other channels other than a text, a hand-written letter, or anything direct from him to me.. But he didn't. Why? Because he didn't care enough. Because he was back with Jake and Embry and while it's all well and good for him to SAY he missed me, actions prove otherwise. LOOPHOLE BITCH! I should have been a lawyer!"

Quil half smiled at the end of her rant. The Boondock Saints had been their favorite movies to watch together, and Romeo was one of her favorites. He had always been able to get Bella to just cuddle and relax by putting one of them on.

"I cared..." He whispered, "I still care."

He winced at the fire in her glare, "Bullshit."

"Bella, you are my imprint. I can't lie to you. Period. Paul helped me find all the loopholes I possibly could.. Outside your window a bit into the woods, I even have a pile of leaf litter I would lay on instead of patrolling. I couldn't think directly of you, and the way of going about it was hard to explain.. Jake and Embry are under orders to go nowhere near you.. I was never able to get close enough to Charlie to say anything. I tried Bella.. I fucking TRIED! Because I love you!"

He felt his anger and hurt bubbling up into him and he stood, beginning to pace.

"All you did was turn to drugs! You faked enough for Charlie not to ask but you would sit up in your room and get high. You were getting high at work. If you were so god damn heartbroken WHY DIDN'T YOU TRY?!"

Paul put his hands on Quil's shoulders and shoved him into a chair, "Calm the fuck down, both of you. Mistakes were made. You need to fix this shit."

Bella looked out the window, "It's too late to make this better again."

_(Meanwhile...)_

Charlie snapped his old flip-phone off with a sigh and turned to the other two men on the boat.

"Welp.. Wolf's out of the bag where Bells is concerned."

Billy sighed, "I feel relief and sorrow.. Bella didn't deserve any of this."

Harry growled, "That boy Uley is out of control."

Silence in the boat... "Billy, Harry... If I hadn't hit Sam with my car that night when I came out to ask about Jake... Would you have told me?"

Billy's eyes filled with sadness, "Only if Bella were an imprint..."

Again, silence.


	7. Chapter 7

Here's to being human  
>All the pain and suffering<br>There's beauty in the bleeding  
>At least you feel something<br>**"I Am Machine" - Three Days Grace**

(~_~_~_~~_~_~_)

Bella sat on the porch swing at Quil's and stared out at the hard rain. She wondered if it was raining like this while he crawled through the mud..

How had her life come to this? What had she done wrong? Everytime she thought she had a handle on this life thing, it spun her around again... It was like a really bad, really cheap carnival ride.

"_I'm out of here." Bella snapped, standing and going to the door. _

_She didn't even make it halfway.._

"_How are you going to get home?"_

_She turned and fixed a glare at Paul, "To get out of here? I'll fucking walk."_

"_You have to come back.. If you don't, you'll die.. And Quil will too."_

_She froze. As much as she hated Quil, she didn't want him to die. At one point, Quil had lit her life up and made her feel so happy.. She was sure he could do that with someone else. And even so, she didn't wish death on anyone. She had seen death with the Cullens and she wanted nothing more to do with it. And when she had told Edward her decision.. He had left._

"_What do you mean that I'll die?" She whispered. Quil fought his wolf, who wanted nothing more than to comfort his imprint. It wasn't wanted and wouldn't be appreciated._

"_A wolf needs contact with his imprint. The longer they're apart, the sicker they get.. The weaker they get. Finally, their heart will give out. There's only a matter of minutes to get the two back together and re-start their heart before they both die.. Jared tried to fight against Kim and lost. Emily tried to fight against Sam and not only did she lose, but she was scarred by his wolf.."_

"_What's the longest we can be apart?"_

"_Two days, barely.. Bad symptoms start after 24 hours."_

_Bella screamed and kicked Quil's door, "FUCK! EVERY FUCKING TIME!" She reached for the handle again._

"_Bella.."_

"_Don't worry, Spot. I'm just going to sit on the porch. Besides, he'd have 24 hours to be fine. I never will be again."_

So there she was.. Stuck.

It was painful to be with Quil.. It was painful to be without Quil.

"Well aren't you the definition of fucked, Bella." She told herself, reaching into her jacket pocket to grab a real cigarette. She stared at it for a moment before lighting it up.

It wasn't that Bella had to smoke.. She wasn't addicted per se.. She smoked because she actually liked it. And she only smoked menthols. The cool, icy feeling entering her made her remember that she wasn't dead.. She wasn't a vampire that existed as a cursed being.. She was simply a little broken.

She heard the door open and turned as Paul walked out and sat beside her.

"You shouldn't smoke, Emo Barbie. Bad for you."

Bella barked out a laugh, "Oh yeah?"

"Yeah. They say it could kill ya."

She half smiled at the slightly teasing tone of his voice. She honestly liked Paul, and that was shocking. He was a refreshing dose of sarcasm and pain.. Kind of like herself, but with a dick.

"Welp, Benji, we all die one way or another. I'd like to be able to say I enjoyed my life at the end of the day rather than saying I pussied out and played it safe."

"How many dog names are you going to come up with before you run out, Tinkerbella?"

"You never run out of names to call a dog, Rex. You'll run out of names that sound sparkly long before I run out of ones to describe things that drool."

Paul laughed and watched her lean back and seem almost relaxed with him. Her eyes were bright and unburdened. He finally saw what Quil did- She was quite beautiful. His wolf raised it's head and instantly branded her as Pack.. As a sister..

"Where do I go from here, Pauly?" She whispered, stunning the man. When she was met with silence she looked over and saw the shock and horror on his face. She smirked, "Did I finally find the name of horror?"

He tried to hide the pain flashing through his eyes but she saw it.. "My mom used to call me that.. Before she died."

Bella gasped. She threw her arms around him in a hug. It was the first time she had willingly touched someone in a gentle gesture in ages.

"I'm sorry."

He hugged her back briefly before pushing her off, "Calm down, Belly Bean, before someone gets the idea you can actually be nice."

Bella laughed and sat back, taking a long drag of her cigarette. "You're right."

"As for your question.." He watched as her eyes clouded back over, "I don't know where you go from here. Quil loves you.. And I know underneath all that hurt you still love him or you wouldn't have called for him when I found you. So a lot of fucked up shit happened, get over it and go after what you had."

"I'm not the same girl anymore. I don't even know how I would function around him, let alone get over all this pain."

"..Your dad was the officer who came to the house the day my mom died. He kept checking up on me. I used to get into a lot of fights. And once, I put a kid in the hospital. Your dad came. So I'm going to tell you what he told me... You have to let it go. Holding on to the anger doesn't do anything in the long run but hurt you. Yeah, the way you treat people might sting a little, but it festers inside you like poison. Do you really want to wake up one day and see all your pain has destroyed all that was good in you, or do you want to live?"

He stood and went back inside, and Bella lit another cigarette...

(~_~_~_~_~_~_~)

Sam paced his living room like an animal in a cage.

Damn that Swan girl! He had to get rid of her somehow.

As a person, Sam probably wouldn't have had a problem with the girl. Before the big change in his life, he probably would have thought she was a nice girl. He probably would have even thought of her as a little sister... Then his world fractured.

Bella Swan was a threat.

She'd been the whole reason it had taken Embry so long to join.. And Jake.. And ultimately Quil. Even the thought of her gave Quil great control. He'd thought keeping them apart would be easy once she saw him out and about- women and betrayal.. But then it had all been fucked up.

Imprint.. That little white bitch was Quil's imprint! Another liability to watch over, since he knew those Cullens would come sniffing around. Fucking leeches.

He growled and smelled the scent of Emily's fear spike as she worked in the kitchen. His wolf howled. His woman knew her place. She had fought against him and lost, and he still reigned supreme. Bella Swan would fall in line too if she knew what was good for her.

He sat down and began to formulate a plan that would ensure his leadership was not challenged- And it all hinged on their newest imprint.


	8. Chapter 8

If I break the glass, then I'll have to fly  
>There's no one to catch me if I take a dive<br>I'm scared of change, and the days stay the same  
>The world is spinning but only in gray<p>

"**Shatter Me" by Lindsey Stirling**

(~_~_~_~_~_~_~_~)

Twelve days until the Big Trip was over and Charlie was home.. Who would Bella be then?

Paul had convinced her to stay on the Rez. She'd not said a word to Quil as she left with Paul to go gather enough of her items to function, as well as collect her truck. They may have been an imprinted couple, but he wasn't her Quil.

Her Quil lit up her insides with just the sound of his voice.. This one left her feeling hollow.

Her Quil had just enough hair that she could get a firm grip to pull him in for a kiss.. This one had none.

Her Quil... Her Quil was gone. And try as she might, she couldn't think of them both as the same person.

"Twelve days.." She whispered.

"Twelve days? What are you talking about, girl?" Paul asked, sparing a glance at the girl.

"Charlie comes home in twelve days. Maybe thirteen. That's all the time he'll be given. I'm not going to pretend he didn't completely shatter me. It's not going to be easy on him.. If there's any shred of my Quil left in there, he'll be able to do it."

Silence settled back over the two in Paul's truck. And Bella was okay with that...

She didn't know if she was rooting for Quil to fail or succeed. She was so afraid, not that she would show it to anyone. She wouldn't be able to handle getting him back, or even a different version, only to lose him again.

(~)(~)(~)(~)(~)(~)(~)(~)(~)

Quil sat in his empty house. When his grandfather had died, and he'd been unable to go to Bella, he thought he would never be more alone..

But he was wrong.. It was worse to have Bella back and feel only her icy hatred. He was slowly piecing in the girl he knew with the girl he was learning about now. They were essentially the same, one a little rougher because of his actions.

He wondered if he would ever see her beautiful smile again.. He had to admit that her hair was kinda sexy, but he had loved her beautiful locks.. He'd begged her before to brush her hair, wanting to watch the strands run through his fingers after in a fashion like water. Was there really any of the old Bella left? This one smoked, not that he minded. These days, it was common for people their age to be smokers. He cared that she smoked pot, but perhaps if he could put her back together the need for that would be over. Was there any of the beautiful girl who would set his heart ablaze with love and warmth?

_Quil groaned with fatigue and relief as he rounded the corner into the driveway. He'd had a much harder time today with helping his grandfather around the house. He wanted nothing more than to go to bed..._

_Until he saw her sitting there._

_She was on the front porch swing, sitting sideways with her knees drawn up as a sort-of table to hold her book. Her long hair was cascading down her shoulders, the light of the dying sun reflecting off it in a warm tone, acting almost as a beacon to him. _

_His breath caught in his throat as she looked up from her book and their eyes locked. A smile smile came to her lips and she marked her place before putting her book on the ledge of the porch and standing. She took the few steps across the porch to lean against one of the front columns. Even in ripped up jeans and a simple slouchy-looking black sweater, she was beautiful.. No words were exhanged. She simply held out her hand to him and waited. He knew he could have simply walked up the steps and kissed her.. But this moment felt different. _

_Bella was waiting for him. There was nothing in her posture or eyes to suggest the window of time for him would close.. He could have left and she would have still been there waiting._

_He closed the distance and took her hand before pulling her flush against his chest. One of his hands tangled in her hair and gently tipped her head back before his lips met hers in a sweet kiss.. His heart sang as she smiled up at him. _

"She'll never wait for me again." He whispered to his empty living room. "He girl I was forced to leave behind has left me... So... I chase after her."

Determination set in his eyes and he stood. He stripped quickly, tying his cutoffs to his leg. As soon as he hit the porch, he phased into his chocolate wolf. He had one destination...

(~)(~)(~)(~)(~)(~)(~)(~)(~)

Bella pulled into her driveway in her rusty old truck and sighed. She hadn't been gone long, but she felt so drained of life.

She noticed when she entered and looked up the steps that Quil's door had been shut. She pushed away the desire to go back inside and made her way to her room. She grabbed a giant duffel bag and began packing what she would need. When she picked her truck up, she'd told Mike there was a situation she had to take care of and she wouldn't be able to work for at least two weeks.. Expecting to be fired, she'd been surprised when he had been understanding.

Once packed, she did a quick once-over around the house to make sure it would be okay before stepping out to lock the door. Then she felt it..

It was like a strange shiver of energy. Her heart was beating faster.. Why? Her mind was screaming at her to turn around, but at the same time to wait. She let out a deep shaky breath, removed her key from the lock and turned around.

"What are you doing here?" She whispered, somehow knowing he would hear.

Quil stood there, clad in only a pair of cutoffs. He didn't pay heed to the rain that was falling.. He didn't shiver.. He didn't do anything but stare at her.

She pushed away an unbidden memory that seemed so long ago. She wasn't waiting anymore.

Their eyes met, just like so long ago.. Hers were guarded and untrusting while his were determined and clear.

"I'm only going to ask you once more. What are you doing here?" She asked, her voice slightly above normal tone.

More silence from him.. More rain from the skies.. And then..

He held his hand out to her.

Bella's breath caught in her throat and she stepped back, tears forming in her eyes. She looked up at the roof of the porch, willing them away- willing it all away.. But when she looked back, he was still there.

She dropped her bag with a huff, "You can't do this to me! You can't just come here and hold out your hand and expect me to-"

She hadn't even seen him move.. But she was caged in warmth and was drowning in the scent of rain and Quil. How had he moved so fast?

His hand was tangling in her hair.. Forcing her eyes to meet his. Her heart was pounding so hard she thought it would explode and her body was so warm she was wondering how she hadn't melted.

"Bells.."

That husky voice.. Those eyes.. The scent.. The feelings.. She was transported back to another time, another day where she wasn't so broken.

"I'll wait for you forever.. I don't care if you hate me right now. I love you. I always have."

And then his lips were upon hers. Tears were flowing down her face as her eyes closed and for one moment.. Just one moment, she let her guard down. She let herself pretend that all the pain and days of Hell hadn't happened.

Her arms went around his neck and she kissed him back... But then she went to run her hand through his hair like so many times before.

The memory shattered and she pushed him away. He allowed it, and stepped back.

"No! I'm not going to do this. I'm not going to fall back into your arms and pretend that this is all okay. I get that whatever God is out there wants to have a big fucking laugh with me by deeming me your soul mate in the eyes of your Wolfy Mojo after tormenting me to the point I wanted to die, but that doesn't give you a free pass."

A husky laugh escaped him, "You're not telling me anything I don't know, Bells.. I don't want you to pretend. I don't care if you want me to just stand here while you try to beat the crap out of me, though I don't advise that because my skin is super durable now.. You remember everything.. You understand.. So understand when I tell you this. Again. I love you, and I'll wait."

"And I'll tell you what I told Paul. The Big Trip is over in twelve to thirteen days. That's all the time you're getting Quil. If you don't make it so I don't want to run you over repeatedly, I don't care what happens to either of us. I'm not going to live this way with you. Fix it."

She pushed past him and he watched as she threw her stuff in her truck and then drove away. But he knew where she was going..

"I'll beat you there."

And he was off in a flash.

(~)(~)(~)(~)(~)(~)(~)(~)(~)(~)(~)(~)(~)(~)(~)(~)(~)(~)(~)(~)(~)(~)(~)(~)(~)(~)(~)(~)(~)(~)(~)(~)(~)(~)(~)(~)(~)(~)(~)(~)(~)(~)(~)(~)(~)(~)(~)(~)(~)(~)(~)(~)(~)(~)(~)(~)(~)(~)(~)(~)(~)(~)(~)(~)(~)(~)(~)(~)

**Hello readers! I hope you all had a lovely weekend. No one went through withdrawls or anything, so I guess that's good. A little bit of sunshine peeping through the gloom here. To those of you who may be just discovering this, I welcome you. Drop me a review to let me know what you think or even just to say Hi. I welcome hearing from ALL my readers. In fact, even if you're not new, drop me a review. Tell me what you think. Tell me how much you all hate Sam or ways you think Quil could win Bella back. **

**I try not to beg/threaten for reviews so... Have a fantastic day, week, month of your life and I will see you all in Chapter 9.**


	9. Chapter 9

My candle shines without a doubt  
>But the wind in your wings blows them out<br>And for my arms it is too late  
>And your wings are gonna have to wait<p>

Leave me alone, I am not an angel yet

"**Not An Angel" by City Sleeps**

(~)(~)(~)(~)(~)

Bella was shocked when she walked into Quil's and he was sitting on the couch watching TV. He smiled and winked at the look on her face, causing her to huff and stomp down the hall to the guest room that had been hers for awhile now. She threw her stuff on her bed and had intended to stomp back into the room to give her a piece of her mind but was halted mid-stride..

Quil heard her silence and peeked around the couch to see if she was okay. Just because he was going to try to make her see he was still her Quil didn't mean he wanted to actually drive her insane. He let out a sad sigh and stood, walking down the hall to her.

Bella's hand was resting on the door to a closed room.. A door Quil didn't know if he would ever have the heart to open again.

Bella felt his heat, but her eyes didn't stray from the door.

"I'm sorry." She whispered. Quil knew she wasn't talking to him..

"Bells.. We all are meant to return to the Earth. You know that.."

"I didn't even get to say goodbye.. I was kept away from here, and then he died and I STILL didn't get to say goodbye."

"So.. Come say goodbye now."

Her head snapped up to look at him, "What?"

"Just for once, don't be mean or a pain in the ass and come with me.."

Bella hesitated, but nodded and popped into her room to grab her black leather jacket. Quil grabbed them an umbrella and they silently walked the route to the cemetary. Quil opened the small gate and led her down the rows of headstones. He paused and touched one, the empty one for his father, before pausing at it's neighbor. Bella squatted down and traced the letters engraved in the headstone.

**Quil Ateara III**

**Beloved Family Member and Healer**

"**Old Quil"**

She laughed, "He used to call me his chestnut.."

"So grow..." Quil replied.

Her head snapped up, "Excuse me?"

He shrugged, putting his hands into the pockets of his cut-offs. "Grow, Bells.. With the proper root system, a chestnut tree can grow to be huge.. Grow."

She raised an eyebrow, "I think the ground here is a little toxic."

"I'll be sure to get the tribe's enviromental care team to fix that."

"You don't have that.."

He laughed, "We don't have toxic soil either. You're ruining my analogy."

"Thank you.. For bringing me here.." She stood and started walking back to Quil's leaving the man to follow or stay. He chose to follow, opting to keep the umbrella over her head to prevent her from getting sick.

Paul was sitting on his porch when they got back and he tried not to feel upset when Bella's mood instantly brightened.

"Hey there, Rover!"

Paul laughed and opened his arms up to her, hugging her briefly. "Hey there, Peaches. Looks like you didn't have an entirely bad day. Quil's alive and you weren't screaming his head off."

She rolled her eyes, grabbing her cigarettes off the windowsill before retrieving one, "We went to visit Old Quil. What are YOU doing here?"

"Ehh. I'm always here, just ask Quil. We're usually on the same patrol rota, so we kinda just hang out."

Bella smirked, "And here I thought you were going to be begging for table scraps."

Paul raised an eyebrow, "What?"

Quil's stomach growled, "That means that she's planning on cooking.."

He pushed past the newly formed BFF's, trying to contain his bitterness, and went into his room. The door slammed and he flopped down on his bed, letting out his first sigh along with his tension. It wasn't that he entirely minded them being friendly, but with her hating him and Paul being a ladies' man...

Quil shook the thought from his head. He'd get Bella back.. He had to.

(~)(~)(~)(~)(~)

Bella prepped the lasagna, thankful that she'd gotten enough to make two pans. She had been planning to make one to eat and one to freeze, but Paul quickly filled her in on the appetite of wolves.

She entered the living room to see that Paul was knocked out on the couch. Quil had yet to emerge from his room, so with a shrug she retreated to her own. She left her door open so she could check the lasagna when the smells started wafting through the house and flopped onto her bed. She grabbed her headphones from her bag and plugged them into the top of her iPhone, hitting the Pandora APP and trusting it to know what she needed at that moment. It did. And so, she laid back and allowed the music to take her away.

Quil's head perked up as he heard her in her room. He smirked as he heard, even though her headphones, the sounds of their favorite Panic! At the Disco song "The Calendar"- It was only THEIR favorite, it wasn't his favorite and it wasn't hers but it was theirs together.

"It's said if you don't let it out you're gonna let it eat you away. I'd rather be a cannibal, baby. Animals like me don't talk anyway."

He got up and gently opened his door, knowing she would probably feel the vibrations otherwise. He leaned against the doorframe and smiled at her laid out on her bed. It was familiar..

"_Be patient, you old buzzard! Bells is making lunch and you know if you spoil your appetite she'll whack you with your own cane!" Quil called down the hall to his grandfather, who was currently sick in bed and whining that he wanted some of the cookies Bella had made the night before._

_He flopped down on Bella's bed face-first with a groan, causing said female to giggle. "It's not funny" He cried into the pillow, "That cranky coot is going to drive me to madness!"_

_Bella nudged him until he turned his head, "He's sick. I bet you act like a baby when you're sick too. Besides, you know he loves you."_

_Quil pouted, "He loves you more than he loves never whines for you to bring him stuff, and I've not once seen him whack you with that damned cane of his."_

_Bella simply shook her head and put her earbuds back in. He growled and shook her, trying to regain her attention. She simply turned those brown eyes on him and started singing one of their favorite songs. He sighed and turned so his head was in her lap and his feet were up the wall. She automatically started running her fingers through his hair. _

"Put another X on the calendar. Summer's on its deathbed. There is simply nothing worse than knowing how it ends... And I meant everything I said that night. I will come back to life...But only for you... Only for you."

The words came unbidden to his mouth and he watched as Bella jumped. Her eyes swung over to him, standing in her doorway.

"What is it, Quil?" She asked softly, turning to look down at her hands. He took the few steps into the room and to her bed before kneeling down and placing a hand on her cheek. She was forced to look at him, forced to look into his eyes. The part of her that craved him with ever fiber of it's being screamed in joy and she had to kick it back onto the 'mad at Quil' train.

"Only for you.." He repeated, kissing her gently on the forehead and exiting the room as easily as he entered.

She groaned and flopped backwards, covering her face with the pillow.

Why did he have to be so fucking nice? Why couldn't he let her stay bitter and angry?

'Because Quil doesn't do bitter and angry' her inner voice replied, 'and he's TRYING to make you happy.'

She mentally slapped that part of her, 'Had he not left in the first place, I'd be just fine."

'He didn't have a choice' it replied. She growled and went to go check the lasagna.

(~)(~)(~)(~)(~)

Charlie crushed a beer can in his hand and reached for another. The day of fishing was done and they were stretched out on the deck drinking.

"So! How much trouble do you boys think I'm gonna be in?" He slurred to his friends. They laughed like drunken idiots.

"It will be like the time Jake ruined her favorite jacket and she wouldn't let him eat anything she cooked or baked for a month." Harry cried, knowing that was Jake's worst nightmare- denial of Bella's food.

"No no no no. It will be like when we were kids and Charlie told my Sarah that she looked weird in her brand new dress." Billy laughed like a mad man, "She beat him black and blue!"

Charlie winced, "You realize you're not making me want to leave this boat."

"Who says we have to?" Harry drawled, "We could float out here forever."

"Bella would find us." Billy said, forcing his face to go straight. All it took was a raised eyebrow from Charlie for them to all burst out in a fit of laughter again.. Crazy old men.

(~)(~)(~)(~)(~)(~)(~)(~)(~)(~)(~)(~)(~)(~)(~)(~)(~)(~)(~)(~)(~)(~)(~)(~)(~)(~)(~)(~)(~)(~)(~)(~)(~)(~)

**Oh look.. My plot bunnies allowed for another small moment of happiness. Very small. We're gonna get another look at ol' Sam in the next chapter! The song Bella and Quil were singing is called "The Calendar" and it is a GREAT Panic! At the Disco song and if you haven't heard it, I demand you YouTube it immediately...! …. Please? Lol**

**Actually, go just make a playlist of this entire fiction! Each song is great! **


	10. Chapter 10

I don't like that you're calling me a liar  
>I don't like that you found out I'm a snake<br>Been sneaking around for far too long now  
>I don't like how fast my intentions fade<br>Karma has beat me down, the worst is yet to come  
>Many mistakes and still I'm so young, yeah<p>

"**Demons" by Avenged Sevenfold**

(~)(~)(~)(~)(~)

Sam growled as he threw his phone down on his living-room table. Jake had called, informing him that Bella was still over at Quil's house and was apparently making dinner.. Paul was there too.

That little bitch was already changing his Pack!

"Emily! Quil and Paul won't be here tonight." He called into the kitchen. He watched as his mate popped her scarred head around the door.

"Is something wrong with them, Sam?" She asked, her eyes downcast in submission.

"Yeah. That little bitch Bella is with Quil."

"Should she not be? I thought I heard she was his imprint."

Sam laughed bitterly, "She is! Oh she is."

Emily quickly retreated back into the kitchen. She didn't know what was wrong with Sam! Sam had never been this way before. Leah had always told her about how kind he was and how he was always doing things to help other people.

She was too afraid of the consequences if she were to speak to someone else about her apparent soul mate.

She shook all the thoughts from her head and began putting the food on the table for dinner. She heard the sounds of the other Pack members arriving and smiled a greeting to Kim when she younger girl came through to help.

Neither spoke.

(~)(~)(~)(~)(~)

Sam sat in his study after everything was over.. His eyes searched the old text infront of him. He had to find some kind of loophole.

It was an old legend, forgotten. It told of an old pack that had emerged in a time no one thought it would. The members had phased out of order, their ages and bloodlines wrong.

It told of their Alpha being taken down because he was jealous of one of his pack members and his imprint.. The two emerged to become the strongest, the best, and they were rewarded by the Gods with a life-long bond, trancendant (so they say) of death and time.

If Sam's theory was correct, one of his little puppies was going to challenge him. The legend was unclear, so at this time he couldn't be sure who. Sure, Quil was defiant, but he didn't think him stupid enough. He was the one with the least amount of experience, he wouldn't challenge the one with the most.. Jake was the rightful heir, but he was constantly trying to get out of it.

The first step would be to try to get Bella on his side or gone. He was sure after all the ways he kept Quil away, it would be hard to get her on his side.. And he was sure that someone had told her by now if she stays away she and Quil would die.

He growled and almost threw his lamp off his desk.

Somewhere deep inside, he was aware that he should be concerned. But his wolf, black as night, was crushing the little bit of goodness left in him little by little.

He stood and walked to the door, catching a glimpse of himself in his mirror before he exited.. Thinking nothing of the flecks of yellow coloring his dark eyes.. Flecks that were never there before.

(~)(~)(~)(~)(~)(~)(~)(~)(~)(~)(~)(~)(~)(~)(~)(~)(~)(~)(~)(~)(~)(~)(~)(~)(~)(~)(~)(~)(~)(~)(~)(~)(~)(~)(~)(~)(~)(~)(~)(~)(~)(~)(~)(~)(~)(~)(~)(~)(~)(~)(~)(~)(~)(~)(~)(~)(~)(~)(~)(~)(~)(~)(~)(~)(~)(~)(~)(~)

**This chapter is dedicated to Jasper's Darlin Kathy.. She thinks all Sam needs is a hug. Lol I am still giggling about it! Yeah this is a little short but it was just so you could all see what Sam was up to.**

**Please review!**


	11. Chapter 11

I've been a mess since you stayed,  
>I've been a wreck since you changed,<br>Don't let me get in your way

"I Miss the Misery" by Halestorm

(~)(~)(~)(~)(~)

Day two of twelve, Bella woke up with a strange pain in her chest. She rubbed at the ache as she sat up. She reached for her hairbrush and smoothed it out before exiting her room.

Quil seemed pretty good about keeping his refrigerator stocked enough.. She was slightly grateful that he didn't expect her to pay to feed him, Paul and their wolves. She sighed happily as the smell of coffee began to fill the kitchen and she began to cut up bacon to fry.

She heard a loud sort of growl and peeked through the sliding doors that closed the bar into the living-room.

"Hey Fido, what are you growling about? It's too early for that shit. I need at least a cup and a half of coffee and a cigarette before I deal with you fleabags."

Paul snickered, "Nothing wrong, Fairy-ella! I growl when I stretch. I used to yell really loudly, but with sensitive hearing it sucks.. Hey! Do I smell bacon?"

Bella rolled her eyes, "It's still raw."

Paul sat on one of the stools at the bar and accepted the coffee she offered, "What's for breakfast today, Chef Pinky?"

"Breakfast casserole. But doggies don't get to eat at the table."

She pointed to a bowl she'd had specially made. It was quite large and had PAUL etched right into the side. Paul laughed and took a large sip of his coffee, "You love me."

(~)(~)(~)(~)(~)

Quil chose that moment to come shuffling down the hall. He was half listening to the conversation going on in his kitchen.

"You love me." He heard Paul say and instantly his wolf was on alert.

"Jury's still out on that, Mutt."

He could control the almost feral snarl that erupted from his chest. It was bad enough that their mate was keeping her distance, but cozying up to another UN-MATED male was not something he would allow.

Bella watched a yellow-gold color bleed into Quil's eyes as she took a sip of her coffee, "Seems Quil is turning into Cujo."

Paul held up a hand as if to silence her, "I wouldn't joke right now, Bella."

She stiffened, in both offensiveness and caution, "Why?"

"Chocolate Drop has come to pay us a visit." Paul replied, turning slowly so he could fully face Quil.

Bella snorted, "Chocolate Drop?"

"His wolf is chocolate colored.. Shut up." He cleared his throat, "Quil. Dude. You okay?"

Paul had always found in a situation where the wolf had taken over, it was best to still act normally. He watched the tiny movements as Quil's head tilted to take in the scene before him. The rigid posture and clenched fists indicated the human still had a modicum of control over the wolf, or he'd probably be shredded wolf right now.. Oddly enough, that sounded like it would be delicious in a fajita..

"You.. Your tongue is as silver as your fur it seems." Quil snapped.

"What the fuck do you mean, Quil? What is your problem?" Bella groused, turning the timer on the oven after she slid the now assembled dish inside.

"Mate! You seem to not know your place. While I understand your hurt at the actions of our Alpha, that does not mean I will allow you to cozy up to another."

"Excuse me?"

Paul held his hand up, "Bella, PLEASE."

"Hell no! She dusted off her hands and walked right up to Quil, "YOU do not get to tell me what I can and can't do. I'm not being cozy, I'm being a FRIEND. You know, like you USED to be."

Quil growled, "Your animosity towards my human counterpart is not appreciated, Mate."

"My name is BELLA. BELL-UH! Not MATE! And I don't give a fuck what is and isn't appreciated. I don't appreciate being abandoned. I don't appreciate the fact that my EX-boyfriend slept outside my house and even patrolled it, but didn't find a way to let me know what was going on."

"Our Alpha's word is law."

"Your Alpha can go suck a big fat dick!"

She pushed around him and stomped down the hall, slamming her door behind her. Paul heard the click of her lock...

Quil seemed to be at war with himself. Paul sat quietly and sipped his coffee, knowing any sudden movements would trigger the other wolf to rip at least a chunk of his flesh away.

(~)(~)(~)(~)(~)

Quil stood staring after Bella. His wolf wanted go to and show her exactly what being his mate meant. But he knew she needed time. He cursed his wolf as he was sure he was making progress with her yesterday.. Very small progress, but progress.

Paul watched the color of Quil's eyes fade back to brown and he held a cup out to his friend, "You good now?"

Quil nodded and accepted the cup, "Sorry about that."

Paul waved him off, "Not needed. It's understandable that your wolf is on edge. We are creatures not used to being denied."

Quil sat down and banged his head on the bar, "One step forward, two steps back."

Paul rolled his eyes, "I'm going to lock you both in a room together if you don't get your shit together and actually talk.."

They heard Bella's door open and Quil sucked in a breath. Bella was wearing skin-tight black pants with a few strategic rips placed throughout.. She had paired it with a black shirt that seemed to have a bat on it and some black fingerless gloves. Her feet were no longer bare but encased in a pair of mid-calf high combat boots.

"Lookie here. It's Biker Barbie!" Paul crowed. Bella glared and flipped him off, grabbing her jacket off the hook.

"I warned you Paul! Cup and a half of coffee and a cigarette!"

The door slammed behind her and Quil allowed his head to bang on the counter again.

"Dude, get off your ass and go out there or so help me GOD, I will get the handcuffs and force you to go where she goes."

Quil stood and grabbed Bella's coffee cup, re-filling it before making his way outside, "I don't want to know where those have even been.."

(~)(~)(~)(~)(~)

Bella looked up from her place leaning against one of the porch supports as Quil walked out. He looked from her to the porch swing and raised an eyebrow.

"It's wet.. Must have rained sideways last night."

He nodded and offered the coffee.

"Come to bark at me some more?" She asked accepting the amazing liquid.

Quil sighed and leaned against one of the railings. "I'm sorry. My wolf tends to be a territorial jerk."

"A fact of which I am acutely aware. If it wouldn't break my hand, I'd have punched you."

Quil raised his eyes upwards, "Thank Taha Aki for small favors.."

Bella swallowed the laugh that threatened to burst forth and scalded it with another sip of coffee.

"What do you want, Quil?" She asked.

"Well.. To talk to you. You said you would give me a chance. I saw the whole thing when I patrolled with Paul last night."

"I also said I wouldn't give you a clean slate."

"You did.. But does that mean you're going to go out of your way to avoid me? That I can't even speak to you and TRY?"

Bella was silent for a minute and then she nodded, "You make a valid point Mr. Ateara. Proceed."

"I'm not going to force you.. I just want to be able to try to have a conversation with you and know you're not going to fight me at every turn."

She sighed, "No.. I said I would give you a chance.. So I will."

Quil nodded, "Thank you."

He took the few steps to close the gap between them and offered to take her now empty cup inside. She handed it to him. She almost jumped with shock when he kissed her on the top of her head.

"You look nice, Bells."

She stared after him as he went inside, trying to will the tingles that shot through her body to go away.

(~)(~)(~)(~)(~)

After breakfast, Bella quickly found that when you were holding a grudge against half the people in your house, life was boring.

She set the pork chops she was planning on making for dinner in the sauce to marinade.

She picked up the house, minus Quil's room of course, and even swept the front porch off.

She couldn't read.. She couldn't sit and listen to music. She couldn't do anything. And why?

Because Quil had gotten into her head.

She had the urge to knock on his door and sit on the beanbag chair by his window, for no real reason. He would either be drawing or playing a video game. That was how they'd spent their time. Grandfather wouldn't be yelling down the hall for them anymore, but if she would just...

NO! She wouldn't be the one to go crawling back to him.

She heard his door open and looked up to see him walking past her own door and groaned.

This whole practice of him being half-naked AND commando all the time was starting to take a toll on her libido.. Barring Mike Newton's little touch and feel, Quil had been the only one to touch her body besides herself.

Too long for a woman who used to get it on the regular..

She remembered the amazing smell that had been all Quil every time he stepped close to her. It was almost the same as she remembered, just a little more wild. And his body was still so warm.

She shook the thoughts from her head. No, she would not come crawling to him...

A glance at her closet, now full of the items she had brought with her, made her smirk.

She would bring Quil to his knees.


	12. Chapter 12

So I'll keep my eyes wide open when you see**  
><strong>And when you close your eyes keep missing me**  
><strong>But girl why can't you just behave**  
><strong>Don't you know all good things come to those who wait**  
>"Those Who Wait" by Saving Abel<strong>

**(~)(~)(~)(~)(~)**

After dinner, Quil offered to clean up so Bella could shower. She and Paul had gotten into a mini food fight involving peas and carrots and he was sure she felt quite unclean. She stuck her tongue out at Paul and thanked Quil.

"I guess I'm gonna head to my place for a bit, grab a shower of my own and such."

It was the first time Quil had been alone in the house with Bella since he had kissed her on her porch and she had yelled at him.

He quickly finished the few dishes and went to head to his room for some TV. It was weird- Like he and Bella were roommates, confined by social graces to their own space. The only time they came together was to watch a movie on demand or when Paul was over. Well, that needed to change.

He stopped in his tracks as he passed the bathroom door and almost died. It wasn't because the 100% MAN part of him knew that Bella was naked behind the closed door. He'd seen her naked before, he could control the reaction to just the thought.. It was that he could SMELL her. The scents drifting out of the bathroom (yes, even with the door closed) were driving him crazy. He could smell the underlying scent that was totally Bella. He could then smell her new body wash.. Something about cupcakes. Damn that Bath & Body Works store.. But then he smelt something else. Something primal.

He could smell Bella's arousal..

His cut-offs became very uncomfortable, very quickly. His wolf howled and it was all he could do to reign him in. He knew the shower had been one of her favorite places, but he didn't know she enjoyed it alone as well. He tried to fight against the various images flashing through his head. He made a mad dash for his room and closed the door. He leaned against it and tried to take calming breaths, but all he could smell was Bella and he even heard a small moan come from the room.

He put his headphones in his ears and hit play, quickly blasting the thoughts from his mind. Bella wasn't ready for that with him, and probably wouldn't be for awhile.

After two songs, he figured it was safe to come out.

WRONG!

He exited his room just in time to see Bella come out wrapped in a towel. He smirked inwardly as Bella's telltale blush rose to the surface. She may have been a 'super hard bad girl' now, but she was still his Bells.. And his Bells was a blusher.

"I uhm... I forgot my pajamas.. I'm not used to-"

"It's okay. I'll uhm. I'll just get out of your way. I gotta meet Paul for patrol."

(~)(~)(~)(~)(~)

Bella smirked at Quil's back as she watched him make a mad dash for the front door. She knew Quil's wolfy senses would have been able to detect what exactly she had been doing in there.

It was his fault anyways- walking around half naked all the time. UGH! How much could a girl stand?! Especially since Quil was hot before.. Now he was an ADONIS. The muscles that she had noticed were now completely defined.. And she was dying to trace his 8-pack abs with her tongue.

She quickly pinched herself and went to her room to get dressed. Thoughts like that would lead to another shower. She put on a pair of plaid pink/black sleep shorts with a matching black tanktop and started brushing out her hair.

Judging by Quil's reactions to her, the plan to get him in her bed would not be difficult.

(~)(~)(~)(~)(~)

Bella woke up that night to noises coming from the bathroom. With a glance at the clock, she noted it was most likely Quil as it was time for his patrol to be over. Another noise..

She quietly got out of bed and made her way towards her closet, since it shared a wall with the bathroom.

Moaning.. Quil was moaning. A blush came unbidden to her cheeks. She knew what he was doing. And while she gave herself kudos for being the cause, she also wanted to pout because he was wasting perfectly good mojo on himself.

"Bells"- She froze.

She had known it was because of her, but to hear that.. Such a familiar moan.. She heard the shower turn off and stood, walking towards her door.

She was at war with herself. It was what she wanted, wasn't it? Before she could think about it, she stepped into the hall at the same time she knew he would be. At the sight of Quil in nothing but a towel, she couldn't help but bite her lip..

Quil was shocked. The object of his sexual tension was standing right infront of him. Her tiny sleep shorts and tiny top made what he had just done pretty much useless. Her hair was sleep rumpled.. But the look in her eyes told him she knew exactly what he had been doing. He cleared his throat.

"Bells?"

She smirked, and he felt like prey to a predator. His wolf didn't like it. "Quil."

"Did I wake you up?"

"Yes.. Yes you did."

She was standing so close now and he could smell all of her. She wanted to purr at the yellow-gold flash that ran through his eyes before they were normal.

"I... Uhm.. Sorry?"

She laughed, "Why?"

"For.. Waking you up?"

She almost wanted to take mercy on him. It was like he didn't know the game she was engaging him in.. And maybe he didn't. After all, the old Bella would have never been so bold.

"Don't be sorry.. In fact, I'm not mad at all. I actually wanted to uhm.." She ran her eyes up and down his body, "I wanted to see you. To... Talk."

Quil's eyes lit up, "Oh. Yeah. Sure. Just let me-"

His words were cut off by Bella pressing him against the wall. He groaned at the feeling of her body pressed against him. He was acutely aware of the fact that they were separated by a towel and the thin fabric of her sleep pants.

"Bells.."

She rubbed against him and his eyes rolled back into his head. "Yes Quil?"

"I want.. Oh GOD I want this.. But.."

"But?"

Gaining control over himself, he pushed her away. "I want all of you. I don't want a piece, and I don't want to just fuck around. Don't misunderstand me. I want you, so badly. But I'm not going to just be there to scratch an itch."

"I thought you had to be whatever your imprint wanted."

He inwardly cursed Paul, "I am whatever is BEST for my imprint."

She growled, "Quil!"

"Stop, Bella! Look at me right now and say that if I fucked you here and now, that you wouldn't regret it in the morning. Tell me that you would truthfully be able to live with it. Because I would know about your regret and it would destroy me!"

Silence answered. Quil let out a shaky breath. "I thought so.. Good night, Bella."

He gently moved her back and retreated to his bedroom.


	13. Chapter 13

That's when she said I don't hate you boy  
>I just want to save you while there's still something left to save (whoa, whoa)<br>That's when I told her I love you girl  
>But I'm not the answer for the questions that you still have (whoa, whoa)<p>

"**Savior" by Rise Against**

(~)(~)(~)(~)(~)

Bella felt her heart sink as she stared after Quil, even with his door closed. She tried to push it away, but it all came down to his rejection. She was so sure he would welcome her in any form. While it was noble that he didn't want her unless he could have all of her, it was still a rejection.

She went in her room to throw on some warmer pajama bottoms, grabbed her phone and her little pill bottle and went to the front porch. The rain was over for now, the chair dry, but she was sure she wouldn't have cared if it were wet or not at this point. She huddled in the chair and scrolled through her contacts until she came to the name she desired. She fought the sinking feeling overwhelming her as she hit the call button and then lit the end of her joint.

"'Lo?" The gruff voice came through the phone as the first tear rolled down her cheek.

"Pauly?" She could have cursed that she sounded like such a small child, "Did I wake you up?"

"No. I was just.. Nevermind. What's wrong, Bells?"

"I... I..." The damn broke and she started full-on sobbing. "You're all wrong. This is all wrong. You all told me he's my soul mate, that he would make me feel better. But you're wrong. I'm broken beyond repair and it hurts. I just want to make it so I can't feel a fucking thing."

She heard Paul sigh through the phone, "We haven't known each other very long, but even I know that's crap."

(~)(~)(~)(~)(~)

Quil listened to Bella outside.. Could smell that she wasn't just smoking a cigarette.

He couldn't really be upset that she had called Paul. He was their natural buffer, and something weird was going on between Silvertongue and his imprint. A huge ball of something nasty was churning in his stomach, because his imprint was hurting. He thought he had gotten use to the feeling, but it was worse after his denial of her advances.

'Go to her' his wolf demanded. He refused, sure he was the LAST person she would want to see.

'Go to her!'

The demand was clear and precise. He heard the few words exchanged between Paul and Bella. She was so insistent that whatever was between them was broken beyond whatever means they had to fix it.

His bare feet hit the porch before he could even register he'd moved. Bella quickly ended her conversation and turned away from him to try to hide her tears, but he could smell them.. Could hear them fall against her hand. Each tear was like a knife to his heart.

"Bella.." He whispered, "Please look at me."

She shook her head, refusing his request. She had been refused, so why should she let him have what he wanted?

He sighed and went to lean against the rail she seemed to be staring at; She turned her head.

"Bella.. Can you really be mad that I told you no?"

He watched as she wiped her face, "It's not that you told me no, Quil. I know you could hear every word that I said to Paul."

"You're wrong."

"I'm not wrong. I'm not upset because you told me no and-"

"Not about that, Bells.. Yes, we are a little fucked up right now. But I'm hoping we're not broken, just bent."

"You stole that from a Pink song."

"Well I didn't mean to but I guess so.. Anyway. I don't NOT want you, Bells. You should be happy I didn't take advantage of you."

For a bit, all that could be heard were crickets and Bella's sniffling.

"I don't hate you..." She whispered.

"What?"

"I don't hate you!" She cried, "All I ever wanted was to be there for you, with you, BY YOU. I was so hurt that you had left too.. I was mad about all you had taken from me. But the day I heard about Old Quil I tried to race right to you, knowing I would somehow be stopped right as I reached the border. And I was right. I tried to call you, to get you to come tell them to let me just BE here. You didn't even have to look at me. But you didn't answer. You didn't answer anything I did. Everything I tried was a brick wall. Once, I even had a nightmare you were screaming in agony as someone was breaking your bones and all I wanted was to save you. And now you have a corrupt Alpha and some part of me STILL wants to save you. To me, the us we had is shattered.. But I wanted at least the one piece of you I thought I could still get. My mindset was stupid. But I don't hate you."

She turned to leave but Quil caught her wrist, "Stop. Running. Away. We're going to have a conversation for once without you having the last word and me wanting to run myself through with a sword!"

"Would that even work?"

"Probably not..."

(~)(~)(~)(~)(~)

Paul waited from inside the tree line. He was silently begging Bella to back down, just once. He'd been there the entire time, and he was sure Quil knew.. But Sam was also somewhere. He could feel his Alpha running phased. Sam was searching for something..

Or someone.

'Come on, Bella. At least take this inside.' He begged silently.

"Let's go inside.. Please? It's cold out here and you know how easy you get sick in La Push." Quil requested. Paul sighed with relief as Bella agreed and the two went inside.

He smirked as Quil looked out to the trees right at him, "She's fine you know..."

Bella wouldn't have heard it, but Quil knew Paul would come save her.. "We will be figuring out what's up between you two.. I'm quite interested. But go home, Silvertongue. This is my territory and my mate."

Paul recognized the tone of Quil's wolf and turned to walk the path back to his own house. Bella would call if she needed him again..

(~)(~)(~)(~)(~)

Bella sat on the couch, pulling her legs up under her. She flipped her pack of cigarettes back and forth in her hand, anxious to have one. Quil rolled his eyes as he sat on the edge of the couch and handed her an ashtray.

"You know you can smoke in the house. Gramps did."

She let out a shaky breath, "Yeah. But I know you hated it."

He rolled his eyes, "I hated it because he chain smoked.. And those cigars of his stank."

She gave him a tiny smile and lit her cigarette, sighing with satisfaction at the rush of calm it brought her. Joint and a cigarette, lovely.

"That dream you had? That was real. Kind of."

She raised an eyebrow.

"Our first phase.. It feels like all our bones are breaking. It's painful. Sam forced me to phase. He knew my bloodstream carried the gene.. The Ateara line has always phased when there was a pack. He ordered Jake and Embry to entice me, and then they forced me. I remember it being the second worst pain in my entire life.."

"What was the first?"

"Being told I couldn't see you anymore."

Her breath caught in her throat and she put out her cigarette, not wanting to burn her throat.

"As for the funeral.. I was under heavy guard. They took my phone away.. And I was surrounded by the pack the entire time. The worst part is that my mom has actually listened to all of Sam's bullshit and she went to visit her sister on another Rez for an indefinate amount of time. She calls to check in and sends money but.. My mom left because of Sam. Because of all this shit. But I would lose her that way a thousand times if it meant I hadn't had to lose you once."

Bella shook her head, "I don't know exactly what you want from me, Quil. You claim that you love me.. That you're waiting and all this shit.. But every turn I make seems to be a brick wall."

"I just want you, Bella. And I don't want you to come to me just for sex. I want US."

"I'm not ready for US! I love you, Quil but I'll be damned if-"

He covered her mouth with his warm hand, his eyes blazing into hers.

"I'm going to remove my hand and I want you to say what you just said.. Without the but."

Tears filled her eyes as he slowly dropped his hand.

Bella wanted to look away, to run, to be anywhere but on that couch locked in his gaze. But she wasn't, she wouldn't be...

"I love you." She whispered.

(~)(~)(~)(~)(~)

From his place stationed behind Quil's house, Sam growled.

He had hoped that little bitch's heart had been crushed to dust. It would have made it so much easier for him to pretend he had learned the error of his ways and get her to his side.

No matter.. They still weren't together. Which meant he still had time.


	14. Chapter 14

You don't expect from me  
>This chain reaction<br>You can't imagine from me  
>This great affection<p>

"**Purify" by Lacuna Coil**

(~)(~)(~)(~)(~)

Bella had fled to her room after repeating her confession to Quil. He had knocked repeatedly, begging her to open the door or to come out.. To let him help her. He would never let her know his wolf was in agony because their mate was hurting so bad.

Bella lay in the fetal position on her bed, tears falling like twin rivers. She wasn't mad at Quil, but she couldn't be around him either. He had pulled the words out of her, and it scared her. She thought she had buried those feelings so deep that they were dead, suffocated. She knew she had promised to give Quil a chance to bring all those feelings back out, but day three of twelve had just started a few hours ago!

"Bells... Please.. Just come back out. I won't make you talk. I won't even make you look at me. I just.. I just want to be near you without something between us. We can watch Boondock Saints.."

Bella sat up and sighed, wiping her face. Quil had a point.. She couldn't hide forever. Oh how she wished Old Quil were there to whack his grandson in the head and warn him about his Chestnut..

"Number two?"

Quil smiled at the small voice that came through the door.

"Whichever one you want."

(~)(~)(~)(~)(~)

Bella woke up a few hours later and looked around. The DVD player's logo was bouncing around the screen, the movie long since over.. And her head was in a sleeping Quil's lap. She sat up and smoothed out her hair before padding down the hall to grab her brush. With a shrug she also gathered her clothes for the day and went to take a shower, hoping Paul would walk in or Quil would make up and SOMEONE would make the coffee.

She washed and stood under the spray for awhile, her mind whirling with what happened that night/morning. Voicing that she still loved Quil had opened an ache that was raw and empty. She knew it was the place her heart had been before Quil had taken it with him.. She thought she had stitched it up rather well, but there it was again.

When she exited the bathroom already dressed, there was a note from Quil propped up beside a fresh cup of coffee. Apparently there was an important pack meeting called, followed by some work on a construction site. He promised to be home for dinner. So essentially, she had the whole day to recover from her explosive confession the night before.

She looked down at her outfit and then outside at the weather. It LOOKED like she wouldn't freeze, but who knows. She stuck her leg casually out the front door and was quite happy that she didn't want to immediately withdraw it back in. She loved the looks people from Washington got from tourists.. She almost wished she had a reason to go into town today to see the looks on people's faces. She had on a red and black lace-up corset top with a little black skirt that she had paired with some fishnet stockings and her black polka-dot heels. She also threw on some of her random black bracelets.

She started the prep on the meal for the night, gathered the small bit of laundry to be done and started giving the house a good scrubbing. She knew it probably hadn't been deep-cleaned since the last time she was there. She didn't venture into Quil's room.. Nor into Old Quil's former room. That would be for another day.

She stepped out onto the porch and froze, but not due to the weather. Jake and Embry were walking the small drive path to the house. They both waved shyly when they saw her and she scowled at them.

"What are you two doing here?!"

Jake sighed, "We wanted to come talk to you. We're sure you know pretty much everything by now."

"I know how Sam ordered you all to abandon me and none of you seemed to mind."

Embry frowned, "It's not like we asked for this. Jake and I may not have crawled through the mud to get to you, but we did try to find ways to send messages to you, both individially and together."

She crossed her arms, "You managed to send me a graduation card with flowers."

They looked at each other before Jake's very serious face looked back at her, "We had to have Emily do it. And for what it's worth, we did try going outselves. Sam had us air-tight. It was like something was ripping through our bodies with a bone-saw when we tried. Even just to ask Emily was painful."

Bella sat on the swing and looked down at her hands, "Quil tried to explain it.. But I figured there was always a loophole."

Jake cautiously sat beside her, "Bells, you know I am the KING of loopholes, especially when it comes to our little group. If there was one, don't you think I would have found it?"

Bella whined, "Now I have to apologize to Quil."

Embry laughed, "If it's still anything like his memories, you'll be fine. And for what it's worth, he gave us Hell for our pseudo-kidnapping."

Bella raised an eyebrow, "Pseudo-kidnapping?"

"That's what I said, Doll. He's still not really talking to us and I don't blame him really. I know because of Sam things will never be exactly the same they were, but we can all try."

She looked back and forth between the two for a moment. Quil had called that confession out of her last night and she guessed if the biggest of her defences had been knocked out in one fell swoop, she might as well let them try too. So she nodded. She smiles on their faces made her feel a bit lighter. They talked for awhile longer, giving Bella more insight to the pack. The current dynamic concerned her. How was Sam getting away with how he was acting? Sure, he was the Alpha, but was there no one to call him on his bullshit?

The smells of dinner started wafting out of the house, causing two dual stomach growls. Bella rolled her eyes.

"Some things never change. I'm sure if you asked Quil, he would allow you to come over for dinner if I said there was enough."

Jake looked like he was about to cry, "We patrol after Quil and Paul..."

Bella sighed, "How about this. You guys fix... Whatever the hell is going on with you and my imprint, still weird to say.. And I will pack you guys up some home-made pulled pork sandwiches for lunch tomorrow."

She screeched as two giant men came crashing at her with hugs and thank you's. They walked down the steps and turned to leave. She was about to go inside herself when Embry called her name. She looked at him with a raised eyebrow.

He gestured to her, "This new look and stuff you got going on? I like it, but I would tone down the skin if you go around Sam.."

"Why?" A knot of discomfort formed in her stomach.

"He'll see you as enticing his wolf. The last time Kim wore a skirt that short to his house, he told Jared that his bitch was obviously unsatisfying as her dress made it seem she wanted to be available to other males."

Bella's eyes hardened, "If he comes anywhere near me, I do carry a knife- I'll cut his fucking dick off."

Jake smiled, "That's our girl."

(~)(~)(~)(~)(~)

Quil walked in the house and his stomach growled instantly at the smell.

"Bells?" He called, moving towards the kitchen. He froze.

Bella was in heels.. He didn't even know Bella could walk in heels, let alone that she would own a pair..  
>He couldn't help but wish that Paul were there as a buffer. Was she intentionally being this way? He thought they had made some progress the other night. It was obvious she was sexually frustrated- but so was he.. He hadn't been with anyone since her. Had she been?<p>

His pants got incredibly tight as she bent over to get the casserole out of the oven. He got just a small peek at her black lace panties. UGH!

She turned and gave him a soft smile, "Hey Quil. Pulled-pork just got done in the slow-cooker.. And I made scalloped potatoes to go with them. Sound good?"

She was being nice.. Like truly nice. Like the old her nice..

"I uhm.. I gotta go check on something." He dashed out of the house and phased, running straight for the ocean. He needed something cold and a shower in his own home wouldn't have worked because all her delicous girly smelling stuff was in there!

He finally came back in and felt his body sag with relief at seeing Paul in his normal spot at the bar. Bella was plating up food and raised and eyebrow as she glaced at him.

"You okay, Quil?"

"I am now."

They ate, sharing general things about their day. He wasn't too pleased that Embry and Jake had come over without his permission, but he was happy at the outcome. Bella seemed a lot happier today..

Once the dishes were done and Paul was off to his 'hot date for the night,' Bella sat in the living room to watch the movie she had previously slept through that night. Quil sat beside her and it was almost like the past several months never happened.. It was almost like they were just watching their movie together while Old Quil slept or had a council meeting.

Bella turned and their eyes met in the dim light from the TV.

"Everything okay, Bells?" He asked.

She bit her lip and his heart started to race. She was so completely un-hostile.. Her eyes were unguarded.. She was...

"Bells?"

(*)(*)(*)(*)(*)(*)(*)(*)(*)(*)(*)(*)(*)(*)(*)(*)(*)(*)(*)(*)(*)(*)(*)(*)(*)(*)(*)(*)(*)(*)(*)(*)(*)(*)(*)

**Hello readers! I know you guys were probably expecting more than Chapter 13 yesterday and I just have to shrug and let you all know that Chapter 14 was not planned to go this way. The war of the plot bunnies seems to be turning. HOWEVER!**

**I want to address some issues.**

**Sam- YES! He is a bad guy. As of right now, I don't have plans to change that. Could that change? Yes. But messaging me telling me that I've ruined Sam and that he's not supposed to be a bad person isn't called for. This is a fanfiction, which means I am allowed to write the characters as I see fit. As much as I love you all as readers, I will not force you here. To be fair, you don't know Sam is actually a good person.. He was going to just kill a baby, remember? Granted, I hate Nessie, but he was going to no-questions-asked kill her. Is that a good guy?**

**Charlie- Cut the guy some slack. He got his daughter back as pretty much a grown adult. He is used to her doing her own thing. He knows very little about her, so it was easy for her to hide her depression and him think nothing was wrong. No one can be mad that he's not around right now, because he's off on his trip. Why is no one mad that Billy isn't around? **

**Bella- She may be softening up in this chapter, but it's still not going to be perfect. I'm not going to say sorry that she didn't just fall right back into his arms. That's not how this is supposed to work. If you expect her to just be like "Oh even though you destroyed me, please love me forever" immediately upon reunion, I urge you to go read pretty much ANY Edward/Bella fic. I am not a weak woman, so I will not write my women weak unless there's a turning point to be made. If you allow a man to hurt you and you do nothing to show him that's not gonna fly, it's just going to keep happening. Keep that in mind. HOWEVER, this story should be being read by people old enough to understand, as it is an M rating WITH GRAPHIC/SEXUAL CONTENT. I cannot control you, though. I am not lible for the things you read, watch, say or do. But if you are young.. If you are growing up and dealing with issues like this, please.. I urge you.. Don't be a pushover. **

**Thank you for reading. I am sorry for this MASSIVE A/N but I needed to get that off my chest, so to speak. Have a fantastic day, week, month of your life. Please review & follow. See you in 15.**


	15. Chapter 15

This is not what I intended  
>I always swore to you I'd never fall apart<br>You always thought that I was stronger  
>I may have failed<br>But I have loved you from the start  
>But hold your breath<br>Because tonight will be the night that I will fall for you  
>Over again<br>Don't make me change my mind  
>Or I won't live to see another day<p>

"Fall for You" by Secondhand Serenade

(~)(~)(~)(~)(~)(~)

Bella wanted to slap herself for seeming so shy. This was Quil. It wasn't like she was a virgin..

Quil on the other hand was quite confused. Bella had seemed so sure that she wanted to say or do something, but now it was like she was at war with himself. He pushed away all of the sexual fantasies in his head and waved a hand infront of her face.

She snapped out of whatever she was thinking and blushed a bit.

"We need to talk.. I guess. Really talk. And if I try to run away I want you to bring me back and sit on me or something."

Quil's eyes widened, "Don't run away.. The wolf likes the chase."

Bella giggled, "I'll remember that for later."

Quil clicked the movie off and turned on a lamp, giving him a little more light to see her with. It was still dim, but now her skin had a sort of angelic glow to it. He was weary though, like an animal who thought a brightly colored frog was tasty only to be poisoned after he ate it.

He didn't want to eat a poison frog.. Figuratively or literally.

After a glance at the clock, Bella took a deep breath and let it out.

"It is now technically day four of twelve..."

Quil slowly nodded, "Yes it is."

"And I realized something after talking with Jake and Embry today..."

Quil rolled his eyes, "Bella, are you going to keep pausing like this? You're scaring me and worrying me at the same time."

Bella whacked him with a pillow, "I'm trying to gather my thoughts, you ass." Another breath, "I realized it isn't fair of me to give them a free pass and make you jump through hoops."

"Hoops. Yes. Very tiny hoops made of razors that have been set aflame by Greek fire and-" Another slap with the pillow.

"Quil. I'm trying to tell you that I'm not going to be mean to you anymore!"

He blinked and tilted his head, reminding her of a confused puppy, "You're not?"

"No.. They told me how it was when they were trying to talk to us before you phased.. And if it was that bad for them I really hate thinking about how it was for you. I was just so mad.. And I'm trying to let all that go. After last night.."

"I'm sorry about last night. I shouldn't have forced you and made you run away."

Bella shook her head, "I shouldn't have ran. I'm strong enough to deal with everything.. I should have acted like the adult that I am instead of a small child."

"Bells..."

"No, Quil. I'm sorry. You already told me you were sorry and you keep trying to show me but I just push you away. Yes, I am hurt but I love you. I want us to be happy again and I know it won't be easy but I want that. I don't know anything about this imprint crap but even that should prove to me that I need to try to relax a little more."

Quil's heart beat fast in his chest as he repeated his choices from a few days ago.. He held out his hand. After a slight hesitation, Bella placed her own hand in his. He let out a breath of relief and pulled her into his arms, wrapping them tightly around her in an almost clinging manner. He smelled her light tears as he breathed in her scent. She shifted to sit against him in a straddle like position for more comfort and touch.

Bella went to run her fingers through his hair and huffed in frustration, causing Quil to pull back a little and look at her with guarded eyes, "What's wrong?"

"I miss your hair!" She whined, running her fingers over his scalp with a pout. He laughed and grabbed her hand, kissing her fingertips lightly.

"I'll grow it back as much as I can, just for you. We cut it because it makes our wolves shaggier. When Jake phased, he looked like a reddish-brown mop.."

Bella gently took his face between her hands and brought their lips together in a sweet kiss. Tingles raced all through her body as his tongue swept across her lower-lip asking for entrance that she was all too happy to grant. He tasted different and the same all at once as his tongue duelled with hers, more spicy..

Quil felt like he had been hooked up to a car battery and jump started. Bella let out a soft sigh and lightly raked her nails down his chest, causing a growl to erupt from within him. His hands gripped her waist as a burst of the scent of her arousal hit his nose. In a well-practiced move, her hips moved against his as her hands found new purchase on his shoulders. One of his hands left her waist and moved down her leg, only to trail back up under her skirt, around her hips and to the delicious swell of her ass. Bella broke their kiss with a gasp as they continued to move against each other, essentially dry-humping like the teenagers they really were. Quil took advantage of the exposure to her neck, all too happy to rain kisses and nips down in a small trail down to her collarbone.

They were both almost in a frenzy. It had been too long for each of them and their bodies had known well what they craved.

"Quil? Bedroom.. Please." She panted, her nails digging into his shoulder to fight against the sweet agony they were inflicting upon each other. He wasn't entirely sure he would be able to hang on until then, and he thanked Taha Aki for wolf stamina.

He turned and wrapped her legs more securely around his waist before standing- And that's when Paul walked in and burst their little bubble.

The trio froze. Quil had his golden-flecked eyes locked on Paul in a heated glare. Bella's face was entirely red, buried in the hollow of Quil's neck.. And subtly leaving little nips here and there. Paul was just in shock..

"Uhm..." He turned and just walked out, going back to his own home in a daze before sitting on the couch and staring at the wall for almost an hour...

(~)(~)(~)(~)(~)(~)

Bella collapsed, rolling off of Quil to lay panting beside him. Quil growled in appreciation of the view of her glorious nudity, her skin glistening with sweat and the after-glow of sex. Before the phase, she would have laid against him for a few more minutes, but he knew his new body temperature probably had her roasting. He sighed and made the motions to dispose of the condom they had used.

Before the phase, condoms hadn't been a problem. Bella was on the pill. But being a wolf, he didn't know how the pill would react to super-wolf-sperm so he had insisted, at least until he could covertly find out, on a condom. Neither he nor Bella were in a place to have a child together at that moment emotionally.

He returned back to his laying position and Bella turned to drape herself halfway over him, leaving little kisses across his chest. He felt a stirring and groaned, "Bells.. If you don't stop we're going to have a repeat performance."

Bella looked down, eyes wide. "Already?

He smirked, "Wolf stamina.."

"Let me grab a water and my smokes and that will be fine..." She smirked right back. She sat up and looked around for any piece of her previous outfit that she could wear, but everything was shredded beyond repair. She frowned as she pulled on a pair of Quil's boxers and one of his T-Shirts.

"You owe me a new corset. That was one of my favorite outfits."

Quil laughed, "I'll buy you whatever you want, but it won't be the last time your clothes are ripped off."

Bella shook her head at him and padded down the hall to the kitchen. Neither of them wanted to discuss the next few days at the moment.. They just wanted to re-connect.


	16. Chapter 16

In this hole  
>That is me<br>A life that's growing feeble  
>In this hole<br>So limiting  
>The sun has set; all darkens<p>

"Happy?" by Mudvayne

(~)(~)(~)(~)

Sam stalked in the woods outside Quil's house. The sounds he heard from within made him want to destroy.

Quil and Bella, happy together again.

'Isn't that sweet?' He thought to himself. He knew he was alone. He, as Alpha, had taken it upon himself to schedule solo patrols for himself. It was better that way. If they were phased with him, he had to concentrate on what NOT to say. Not that he had to answer to any of those worthless pups underneath him.

This new turning in life did not sit right with him. When he was human, he supposed he could have had compassion.. He probably would have welcomed the new female as a brother and they would have been a happy little family.

He scoffed at the thought of him being domesticated like a common house dog.. Of his imprint being cheerful and taking care of other pack members because she cared about them instead of it being her job. Life was not about happiness. His human had learned that when he lost Leah and was saddled with Emily. It was made worse then, because the stupid bitch had denied them and their claim. The man was weak and broken. The wolf rose..

This new female was quite tempting. She was much more beautiful than his own imprint, or even that of Jared. He'd not seen her in his human form yet, but what he'd seen in his observations had been quite lovely. Creamy flesh, silky hair and big doe eyes. He'd seen her sitting on the porch once and the amount of skin he saw had made him want to take her and run. Like he'd warned Jared, it was like an open invitation. He felt his human stirring within but growled and knocked him back away.

The human would not interfere. He would secure their place, their destiny and possibly a whole harem of females... Yes.. Females to continue his bloodline. Fine pups with him genes in their bloodstream.

Day five of twelve was dawning. Quil had no patrols, meaning all the time in the world to bond with the new female. This did not bode well for his plans.. He left to plot how to get them with no alone time...

(~)(~)(~)(~)

Bella rolled over to escape the sun and hummed happily as she felt Quil's warmth. But then she shot up and looked at the clock. She shook her naked lover, causing him to groan and peep one eye open.

"Did I not tire you out enough, woman?"

Bella rolled her eyes, "You're late for patrol. I can't believe Paul didn't come get you!"

Quil laughed and pulled Bella into his arms, kissing the top of her head, "I don't have patrol today. I finally got a day off. No patrols until 8pm tomorrow."

Placated, Bella snuggled back into the warmth of Quil. She closed her eyes, fully intending on going back to sleep, but she'd gotten too awake for that.

She sighed and got out of bed, padding down the hall to her precious coffee. She'd finally figured out how to work the auto timer so she always had some ready to be poured in the mornings.

After her ritual of coffee and a cigarette, she made her way into the bathroom and into the shower. She had just started to function under the warm spray of water when she felt two warm, familiar hands on her hips. They pulled her flush against an equally warm body and she moaned softly at the feeling.

"There's a price for joining me in the shower." She murmured in an act that she remembered now with fondness, because it could be repeated. She felt little nips across her shoulder and his hardness at her backside.

"Anything you want is yours." Came the husky, whispered reply.

A shiver rippled down her spine as it washed over her while one of his hands came up to cup one of her breasts, the other slowly travelling up her torso to push her hair to one side. Her head tilted, exposing the side of her neck to him fully as she replied with "You. Just you."

A low growl welled up from Quil's chest and he turned her head more to bring their lips together. He allowed her to turn her body before pressing her against the wall. She let out a small squeal at the cold feeling before she was surrounded by his heat. He was slowly melting her as his fingers danced wicked trails across her skin, teasing each sensitive zone he had long ago taken it upon himself to learn. She pushed him away to gasp for breath, but he only moved to run his teeth along the sensitive skin of her neck. His fingers played across her thighs as if running along a smooth piano before they brushed against her throbbing clit. She bit her lip to keep from crying out.

Another growl and he forced her eyes to meet his own. Her heart pounded as she saw the flecks of gold. Man and wolf had once again merged. "Don't hide how I make you feel."

She nodded and with a satisfied look crossing his face, Quil slid his fingers inside her. She let out a breathy moan and bucked against him. His fingers moved within her, spreading fire through her body.

"Please." She whimpered.

"Please what?"

He pulled his fingers away from her and watched as he licked them clean, as if he were covered in melted chocolate.

She let out a growl of her own, "Take me."

Before she could let out another breath, her legs were around his waist and he was in her, moving at such a languid but frenzied pace it almost blew Bella's mind. She let out a whimper and pulled him to her for a kiss. She could taste herself mixed with his spicy tang and she was done for. He pulled back and buried his face in her neck as she clenched around him, crying out his name. A few strokes later and he roared his own completion, pushing his wolf side away to keep him from marking Bella and pulling away from her body. They watched with panting breaths as his cum washed down the drain. Bella felt a strange sense of loss.

They finished the shower in silence, Bella purring when Quil washed her hair. They exchanged a look and he reached around her to cut the water off. Bella reached out and wrapped herself in her big fluffy towel. Quil turned her and kissed her forehead gently.

She looked up, making sure to meet his eyes as her hand pressed gently against his cheek. Quil could feel her love and she is. They didn't need words, they could have a conversation with looks. It had been like that for them even from the beginning. Bella smiled and left to go to her room and dress, Quil heading to his own to do the same.

All the hurt wasn't gone, but he knew they would get better..

(~)(~)(~)(~)

Paul knocked on the door, almost laughing at Bella's face when she opened it.

"You knock now, Sparky?"

"Well after last time, I was afraid of what you two might be doing in here.."

Bella rolled her eyes, "Be nice or I won't feed you."

Paul's face turned serious, "Are you okay?"

Bella sighed but nodded, "Getting there.. I didn't expect everything to move this fast but I can't say I'm sorry for it.."

Paul smiled, "I would say it's the imprint, but it's clearly you two. Now! I have news. I'll share it for some food."

"You'll share it anyways!" Quil yelled from the kitchen where he was helping Bella put plates together. When Bella had presented her home-made chicken salad sandwiches, a favorite of his, his mouth had watered and he had contemplated not letting Paul in if he had came over.

He was lucky Bella had answered the door.

They sat down together and after Paul had consumed half of one of his sandwiches, he sighed, "Sam's calling a public meeting. Pack and imprints are required."

Quil stiffened, "Why?"

"He just said we all had a lot to discuss. I don't like it."

Bella frowned, "I don't want to go back there. Sam's an ass."

The two men laughed and Quil simply kissed Bella's hand, as it was the closest thing to him.

Paul glanced over at Bella in her little short shorts and tanktop, "Advice? Put more clothes on. I know you were told about what he said with Kim."

Bella gasped and ran down the hall to her room, screaming back that no one had better touch her food.

(~)(~)(~)(~)

Two hours later, the trio was walking over to Sam's house.. Well.. Bella was on Quil's back. She'd changed into the most simple outfit Paul had seen her in. It was a simple blood red shirt with long sleeves, paired with black leggings with white crosses around them and some boot-like shoes. She'd done her hair up in a clippy-tail (ponytail with a claw clip so the back fluffs out) and some light makeup. Both men had approved of the simple 'Sam Proof' outfit and they'd been off.

The atmosphere inside Sam's home was tense. Bella heard Emily trying to be as quiet as possible in the kitchen. There was a man she hadn't let met, a somewhat pretty girl cowering at his side. She assumed they were Jared and Kim. Jake and Embry sat together in a corner on the floor, their backs against the wall. Quil and Paul took the same play, but Bella was safely on Quil's lap. Sam stood in the middle of the room, arms crossed.

Bella met his eyes and gasped. She quickly realized what people had been trying to tell her all along. Sam was not Sam.. Sam was entirely a wolf.

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**Happy Monday readers! So sorry for my late update time. The only time I really get to write is when I'm at work and since my last update it has been CRAZY BUSY! I have my step-daughter on weekends and I try to do stuff with her, just us girls, during afternoons and stuff until my husband comes home. **

**Please please please PLEASE review. I see a lot of people reading, but a surprising lack of you who say anything. My goal for this story is to break 300 to 500 reviews. As I type this, we are sitting at 88. Also, I love hearing from you guys. So just drop me a message. I try to answer all my reviews personally. **

**Also, please go read DISCISSUM (A collaboration between myself and my fic twin Lady Kathryne) and Unexpected, also by my fic twin. I hope you have a fantastic day, week, month of your life and I will see you in Chapter 17. The playlist so far for this fic is listed below. I AM making a list on YouTube but will not share the link until the final chapter.**

(~)(~)(~)(~)(~)(~)(~)(~)

_1- Habits by Tove Lo_

_2- Amnesia by 5 Seconds of Summer_

_3- Leave the Memories Alone by Fuel_

_4- Came Back Haunted by Nine Inch Nails_

_5- Immortals by Fall Out Boy_

_6- From Yesterday by 30 Seconds to Mars_

_7- I Am Machine by Three Days Grace_

_8- Shatter Me by Lindsey Stirling_

_9- Not An Angel by City Sleeps_

_9.1- The Calendar by Panic! At the Disco_

_10- Demons by Avenged Sevenfold_

_11- I Miss The Misery by Halestorm_

_12- Those Who Wait by Saving Abel_

_13- Savior by Rise Against_

_14- Purify by Lacuna Coil_

_15- Fall for You by Secondhand Serenade_

_16- Happy? By Mudvayne_


	17. Chapter 17

I don't hold back, I hold my own**  
><strong>I can't be mapped, I can't be cloned**  
><strong>I can't C-flat, it ain't my tone**  
><strong>I can't fall back, I came too far**  
><strong>Hold myself up and love my scars

"**Lost in the Echo" by Linkin Park**

**(~)(~)(~)(~)(~)(~)(~)(~)**

There was silence for a moment as everyone waited for Sam to being speaking. Emily silently came out, head bowed down in submission, and set a few snacks on the table before retreating back to the kitchen.

No one moved to take anything.

Bella was gripping Quil's hand in frustration, attempting to stop herself from yelling out and provoking the wolf-man infront of her.

"Pack. As we know, Quil has found his imprint in Isabella Swan. The same rules for imprint protection will apply to her, though she doesn't live on the reservation. Once Billy gets back, I'm sure he'll want to do the bonfire thing. You're all required to attend that as well."

Bella wanted to roll her eyes. He made imprints sound like a chore, not a blessing. He grabbed a stack of papers and began passing them out.

"These are the patrol rotations for this month. I don't want to hear anyone whine about their patrol times on Halloween. October is just a month."

Bella glanced down and saw that Quil and Paul had a four hour shift starting at 2am, Embry and Jacob having an eight hour starting at 6am, Jared and Sam would be patrolling alone for the rest of the day.. Sam was taking the larger portion of the rest. She wondered why Sam was always alone. She had noticed on Quil's former schedule that Sam was often alone. What was he hiding?

"Isabella, I'm sure you have a few questions?" Sam challenged, almost daring her to ask anything that would question him.

"Actually, yes. Why did you FORCE people to phase?"

Such a harsh silence decended as Sam's rage-filled eyes met Bella's, "Because the pack is needed to fend of leeches. You want us to run ragged?"

Bella smirked, "You can run and chase your tail all night for all I care, Sam. I have no need to care for your well being since you didn't care for mine."

A growl escaped the Alpha, "Know your place, or I will show it to you."

Bella felt Quil squeeze her hand, almost begging silence. Bitter distaste settled in her mouth as she remained silent. Her only solace was that she could still glare at the older man.

She tuned everything else out. Sam's words meant nothing to her and honestly she was already sick of him. She knew Sam's excuse for bullying Quil was bullshit. He was hiding something. She was determined to find out what.

**(~)(~)(~)(~)(~)(~)(~)(~)**

Sam watched the pack leave after a few hours, his focus on Bella. That little bitch was going to be a problem for him. He'd already had suspicion, but her defiance and lack of respect was his proof. There would be no turning her to his side. He would have to eliminate her, but keep her physically alive. Perhaps a coma? No, too risky. He could try to get her alone while Quil was on patrol and force her to submit, but the human side of him would not allow even the thought of forcing her. She had covered her body well at the meeting.. It was almost enough for him to not care about her. Almost.

**(~)(~)(~)(~)(~)(~)(~)(~)**

Quil watched Bella the next morning from the tree-line. He was supposed to be patrolling but her scent hit him and he knew she was sitting on the front porch. She'd always loved that swing.. So much, in fact, that his grandfather had it re-done just for her.

She looked so beautiful, but she always did. He knew Sam was too interested in his imprint and that her defying his words at the meeting would only spur his Alpha on. He and Paul had spoken about keeping her away from Sam as much as possible. Charlie would be back soon, and then Bella would be back in Forks. Sam wouldn't be able to get to her as easy because he would have no reason for visits.

He watched Jake and Embry walk up to his porch and turned to finish patrolling. Honestly, he saw no need to do this. Nomad vampires were rare and they could scent them as soon as they crossed the border, no matter where they were.

Then it hit him- Could patrolling be a distraction technique? If so, what was Sam trying to distract them all from? He had no proof Sam was actually patrolling during his times. Was Jared in on it? He had to find out.

**(~)(~)(~)(~)(~)(~)(~)(~)**

Dinner was a normal affair. Bella had made a chicken dish and Paul had volunteered to do dishes.

After Paul had went home, they had cuddled up on the couch. Bella had some random show on the television but Quil was thinking while running his fingers through her hair. He was so lost in his thoughts, it took Bella whacking him in the forehead with the remote to catch his attention.

"Sorry, what?"

Bella rolled her eyes, "What are you thinking so hard about?"

Determination set in his eyes, "I'm thinking about how to free the pack."

He watched as a smirk crossed his imprint's face, "Let's expose that bastard."

**(~)(~)(~)(~)(~)(~)(~)(~)**

A large black wolf watched the Clearwater home from the trees. The family seemed happy. He remembered dinners filled with laughter and movies in the dark filled with stolen kisses and caresses.

But then he remembered her.. The girl with the long, raven hair and soulful eyes. He remembered the emotionless as she told him to go and find a new life. He had pleaded, told her he loved her. He had revealed only earlier he had turned down a scholarship to a great college to stay with her. She had acted strangely all through the rest of their time together before asking him to walk with her. Then she had told him it was over. His heart had been ripped from his chest, bleeding and hemmoraging.

Leah Clearwater.

He had phased the next day, the agony so consuming that he thought he was literally falling apart at the seams.

With a growl, the wolf stalked away. Leah Clearwater would pay for hurting him, just like Emily payed for her loyalty to her cousin. He was Alpha and his word was LAW!

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**Hello readers! Happy Halloween! I'm sorry it's taken so long. Work has been crazy busy and I've only had time to whine to my Twin and beg for pity. I hope you all have a great Halloween and I will see you in the next chapter!**


	18. Chapter 18

Scream out love's name in vain  
>Embrace the pain again<br>And lose yourself alone in the dark  
>Dead lover's lane<p>

"**Dead Lovers Lane" by H.I.M (His Infernal Majesty)**

(~)(~)(~)

Sam watched the young couple with all the hatred he could muster, a constant growl sounding from him. The human in him felt sick at the sight, and buried himself farther within the primal feel of the wolf.

From behind, with her jacket on, they could almost be twins. The wolf knew by scent alone which was which, but were he human it would be impossible without them baring skin.

Hands tangled in dark locks, clenching and tilting before lips were upon lips.. Soft breathy moans were heard, her nails made tracks down his arms..

He couldn't take it anymore. He heard the screams, felt the last beats of the heart of the one beneath him. His claws tore through soft flesh and his mouth filled with blood and organs. He probably would have turned on her too had he not felt the presence of another.. He licked some blood off his muzzle and ran back to his patrol route, the sounds of the girl screaming for help echoing in the night.

(~)(~)(~)

When Jake came around the corner of his patrol route shortly after feeling the shimmer of Sam's leaving, he stopped short. The flashing lights instantly registered as emergency lights and he stilled his body completely, cocking his ears to listen intently.

He heard the murmurs of cop chatter, of the static of radios.. Then he heard the almost violent sobbing. He had heard it before several times.

Leah Clearwater.

He had never told anyone on threat of a violent, slow and painful death from the older female. The first time he'd seen her out on the cliffs. She was sitting there, face in hands, sobbing her heart out. He was human then, or as human as he had thought existed. He had called her name, intending to offer comfort. But her eyes were angry on him and she screamed at him to go away. He had been frozen in confusion and almost panic. She had stood and advanced towards him before getting right in his face and threatening him. Being in such close proximity to the older, and very beautiful young woman, had an unwilling affect on the young man and he was thankful her anger shielded his blushing.

He had heard her several times after, but never confronted her again. She did, however, feature in many of his fantasies after that.

He phased human after informing Embry of the disturbance and pulled on his shorts before breaking through the treeline. There was what he assumed to be a body bag on the ground, a stain of red splatters stuck to the grass around it. He sniffed the air.

Blood. Someone had been killed.

He searched the crowd for Leah. No one thought it odd he was there, as the council had informed everyone of the 'Tribal Protectors'- but they thought it was a group of young adults working to keep the tribe safe when real law enforcement was scarce.

"JACOB!" He turned in time to see the flash of black hair and then Leah was in his arms sobbing. His arms wrapped around her automatically, "What happened, Leah?"

He tried to keep his voice as even as possible, as if he really was doing his tribal duty of pseudo-law enforcement.

"It killed him. A giant beast from the woods. It probably would have killed me to but it just ran off for some reason." Leah sobbed, clinging to the stiff form of Jacob. There were too many scents to pinpoint exactly what had killed...

"Who was it Leah?" He asked softly, "And why were you out here?"

He heard her sigh and felt her shiver as she re-lived the horrible moment. "His name was Clay Redwing.. We met in our Native American studies class at my college in P.A... He asked me out a few weeks ago. I brought him here because I was going to take him to our Heritage House to show him all that our tribe had collected about our lineage.. We were walking there but we.." she cleared her throat, "We stopped to look at some fireflies and.. And he kissed me. I hadn't been kissed since Sam and it was so wonderful." Her voice got small, "I liked him. He was a good person. And he understood about Sam and why I did what I did to him... And now he's gone."

Jake sighed and rubbed her back soothingly, "I'm sorry, Leah. I'll do what I can to try to find this beast..."

Leah looked up and met Jake's eyes.. And he was lost. He felt like he was floating through the stars or being carried away by waves. Leah Clearwater was his imprint.

'Well, this just got a little complicated.' He thought to himself. But he still felt tingles when Leah kissed him on the cheek and thanked him. He offered to walk her home and she smiled softly, causing his heart to stutter.

"Sure. You can keep me safe."

(~)(~)(~)

Bella was at the kitchen bar planning dinners when her cell phone rang. She was confused to see DAD in big letters. Her father wasn't due back yet, and he surely shouldn't have battery life left after being gone so long.

"Hello?"

"Bella. Where are you?" Her father's breathless voice asked.

"I'm at Quil's house..." She said in a small voice.

"Stay there. I'm on my way to La Push. Stay inside and keep a wolf with you at all times- there's been a murder." He warned his daughter without thinking.

Bella snapped her pencil as his words registered, and her voice took on a calm but lethal tone, "Dad. How did you know about the wolves? And how long have you known?"

She heard her father growl, "Isabella Marie I don't have time to explain this right now. I'll explain it all later. I assume Quil is your imprint so STAY WITH QUIL. He can protect you."

The call disconnected and Bella screamed her frustration as she slammed her phone down on the bar. She felt Quil's arms wrap around her and she tried to calm her frazzled emotions, lighting a cigarette.

"My dad knew.. All along. He knew what happened to all of you and what you all are. HE KNEW!"

Quil sighed and kissed the top of her head, "We'll deal with it when he gets here. I assume he's going to check on you. The main part that I'm worried about is that there was a murder. There are no fresh scents, so it's not vampire related.."

Before Bella could respond, the door burst open and Paul rushed in with Embry on his tail. "JAKE IMPRINTED!"

Bella laughed at their in-unison blurting and the expressions on their faces but then their words registered.

"On who?" She asked, tilting her head.

Embry took a breath, "Leah Clearwater..."

"What!? Dammit. I just became friends with her again! He better not be a jerk to her. When did this happen? How did they even see each other?"

Paul looked down at the ground, "Leah's date is the one who was murdered.. Jake was patrolling with Em when he said the lights. He was checking it out and I guess it's easy to find out the rest.

"Where is he now?" Bella asked, throwing a coat on with intent to go check on her friend.

"He's at Leah's. She's pretty shaken up. He offered to walk her home."

She texted Jake that she would be taking over Leah duty for at least an hour and to beat it. She didn't care if he had imprinted on the older girl, a date murdered required a female friend.

Quil nodded and they walked together to Leah's. Jake met them at the door and Quil told Leah they were going to go "do a quick patrol lap" to "look for clues" and they would be back.

(~)(~)(~)

Bella waved at Sue Clearwater before Leah pulled her upstairs to her room. Leah locked the door and they took their respective places on her bed, sitting on either side of the window. In a very practiced motion, Bella unlatched the window while Leah pushed it out. Bella then brought out her little bottle of joints and pulled one out, taking the 'green hit' before following the ancient rules of PUFF PUFF PASS.

"So.. You and Quil are all happy again?" Leah drawled, trying to make her smoke curl like a dragon.

Bella smirked, "And you and Jacob?"

Leah sighed, "Had I not learned what I did a bit before you got here, I'd say we were just friends. But apparently I'm an imprint, just like you.. But I don't have a history with Jacob that way I have a history with Sam."

"Have you ever talked to him about it?"

"No, but I told Jacob a little bit. With Sam running this pack, it's going to be so... BAD!"

Bella giggled, ending with a snort as she blew out her hit. "That was so poetic, Lee."

"Shut up, Swan."

They passed the joint back and forth until it was gone and their eyes were glassy. Leah buried the roach in the planting box outside her window. They used to joke that her flowers were so pretty because they were high all the time. In practiced movements, they went about airing out the room the rest of the way to prevent Sue's keen nose from smelling it and then they laid back on the bed.

Leah had always, in one way or another, been Bella's friend. The girls had gotten substantially closer after Quil had left Bella and the younger female had turned to the other for help with her heartache. Had it not been for Bella's pale skin, they could have been sisters...

"He's messed up, Lee.." Bella whispered as they lounged on Leah's bed.

"How bad?" Leah asked.

"The Sam you knew is gone."

"Think we can bring him back?"

Bella sighed, running her hand through her hair, "No."

(~)(~)(~)

There were certain benefits of being considered law enforcement. Jake and Quil were easily able to access the scene of the murder. Without all the flashing lights and people, it was easier to scent the murderer. With a cringe at the discovery, Quil flipped his phone open to call Paul to the scene while Jake called Embry and Jared. Sam didn't need to know that they would all be together...

As a Pack, they all confirmed the scent of the wolf that had killed Leah's date and would have, without a doubt, killed her. Standing in a ring around the large pool of blood, they finally spoke words they'd only kept to themselves.

"Sam is feral."

Paul glanced over, "Sam isn't Sam.. So why don't we just call it Alpha?"

Jared sighed, "I was hoping this was all a phase."

"We all were," Embry whispered, "But it's apparent that it's not."

"Why would he do this?"

"Paul laughed darkly, "Because he's butthurt about Leah leaving him and Emily telling him no! He's a spoiled brat. If you hadn't kept Kim away, he'd probably have raped her by now!"

Quil stayed quiet as they all argued back and forth before letting out a rather large growl that silenced the group.

"These are the facts as they stand. Sam has gone feral to the point of murder. He watches us. He patrols on his own and we know it's because he's trying to keep his secrets. We can't let this continue. We've all tried to push it aside, to think that the real Sam was going to come back one day but now he's KILLED someone. He's been watching us, ALL of us. So what are we going to do about it?"

Jake thought back to what Leah had said.. His imprint would have been dead had he not come along.. He would have forever searched for her.. His eyes blazed, "We kill him."

(~)(~)(~)

Bella and Leah were sitting back at their window smoking a cigarette each when it happened. They were laughing and teasing each other while watching the fireflies dance in the backyard. It was the most normal that Bella had felt in a long time.

Bella sighed when the trees started reflecting the lights of the police cruiser. She and Leah put their cigerettes out. Bella heard a gasp from Leah and looked at the female. She was frozen, looking out in the yard that had been empty not seconds ago.

Sam stood there, blood smearing his face and chest. Leah screamed and Bella scrambled to close the window. She didn't know how high Sam could jump...

"Bella! Leah!" they hard Charlie yell, his footsteps pounding up the stairs.

It all happened so fast. Glass shattered and there was a ripping feeling of movement. She caught a glimpse of her father's white face as she was pulled out of the window. The wind was knocked out of her as he hit the ground.

"QUIL!" She screamed as loud as she could, hoping he could hear no matter where he was. There was a growl and then a pinch to her neck before she fell limp, and her world darkened.

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**Hey there readers! I'm sorry it's been so long! RL has been HELL and I've been such a big ball of stress.. I was going to wait and post these all together, but I just looked back and saw a flaw in my NEXT chapter that ruined pretty much all the others after that. SO! Since I have to do a major re-write, here's the next chapter.**

**ALSO! There is a poll on my profile. Go check it out. It's for how you feel about Sam! As always, I hope you have a fantastic day/week/month of your life and I will see you next time!**


	19. Chapter 19

Your words, bury me, of what I used to be  
>I can't erase all those things I've seen<br>Your heart, smothers me, now it's hard to breathe  
>I can't erase all my memories<br>Erase all my memories of you!

"Room 409" by Bullet for my Valentine

(~)(~)(~)(~)(~)(~)

The smell of blood and rotting wood filled Bella's nostrils as she gained consciousness. Her nose wrinkled as she opened her eyes to look around. It was dark but she could clearly make out an old cabin. The door was falling off, the windows were busted and there were leaves and twigs littering the water-warped floor. This place had clearly been abandoned for some time.

She spotted Leah on the opposite side of the room and threw an acorn at her. The older girl glared at her, eyes snapping open.

"What the fuck?"

Bella smirked, "I wanted to make sure you weren't dead."

"By throwing shit at me? You're such a stupid bitch, Bells."

"You love me. So. Thoughts?"

Leah looked around and then cautiously stood before walking to the middle of the room. She kicked a few acorns around the floor and even jumped up and down.

"We weren't tied up. We aren't being heavily guarded. Why?"

Bella stood, groaning at the soreness in her back, "Because he's a wolf. Maybe he feels like he doesn't need to watch us because he's faster."

"Correct" a deep voice growled from the doorway, causing both of them to snap their heads towards it.

Sam stood there, his body filling the entire doorway.

Bella pushed Leah behind her, "Why did you take us?"

Sam laughed, "I am Alpha. I can take whatever I want."

Bella rolled her eyes, "That's like me saying that I am pale so I glow in the dark- Idiotic and pointless."

"Actually, I found that amusing." Leah whispered in her ear, "You not him."

"SILENCE!" Sam yelled, stepping forward and invading Bella's space, "You have no idea who you're messing with, bitch!"

Bella smirked as she saw the gold clearly in his eyes.

"I know exactly who I'm dealing with. You're an overgrown puppy who is having a very long hissy fit. I'm not entirely sure WHY but all you are doing is proving that you can't be a MAN and handle things, you have to let your alter-ego do it and piss on trees..."

"I'll kill you just like I shredded that man who dared to touch Leah."

"Why did you kill him, Sam?" Leah whispered, looking up at him with watery eyes.

"Why did you leave me, Leah?" He spat back.

"Are you seriously telling me that you scarred Emily, almost destroyed the lives of several young men and committed MURDER because Leah DUMPED YOU!?"

"I said SILENCE!" He roared, backhanding Bella and sending her to the floor. She glared up at him but Leah silenced her with a gesture when she went to retort.

Sam smirked as his eyes met Leah's, "Do you have something you want to say? I'll allow you to speak if you wish."

Leah clenched her fists, "I loved you."

"Lies. You can't claim to love me after you ripped my fucking heart out of my chest."

"You were on track for a life away from here, Sam! You had a scholarship to a great college! I still had more high school to finish. You were talking about giving all of that up to stay here in La Push and I didn't want you to do that! No matter how many times I told you, you wouldn't listen. So I did what I thought was best and I took myself out of the equation."

Sam growled and Bella pulled Leah back away from him, only for him to close the gap.

"What gave you the right to make my choices for me?"

Leah gave him a cold, calculating smile. "And what would you have done when you turned into the wolf? When you saw Emily? I'm not stupid at all, Sam. I'm the imprint of Jacob Black."

Sam roared and shoved Leah away from him, "IMPOSSIBLE!"

Bella laughed, "Oh it's VERY possible. Just like you thought that the white girl couldn't possibly be an imprint to Quil! You're not as smart as you think."

His eyes shined a brilliant gold. Sam was not in control at all, if he had been before. This was all wolf. A wolf who thought he was entitled to whatever he wanted.

"I've warned you before, you pale-face whore. Always showing that creamy skin. I think I'd like a taste before I rip you to pieces."

"Touch her and die!" A voice growled from the doorway. Lightning lit up the sky as if joining with a dramatic flair. Quil's frame filled the doorway.

Sam scoffed, "You're a mere pup. You think to defeat your Alpha?"

"I am not alone, but I could rip you apart easily."

As if trying to prove his dominance, Sam grabbed Bella roughly and pulled her infront of him. She felt nausea threatening to overwhelm her as he wrapped an arm across her shoulders, hooking a finger into a beltloop as if acting as her seatbelt. The other he used to trap her other arm.

"I guess I can see the appeal, pup. She does smell quite good."

Bella squirmed and then gasped in surprise as he ran his tongue up the side of her neck, standing stock still. She felt his arousal pressing against her lower back.

"I'm gonna be sick" She muttered to herself, trying to make her body go limp. Sam held her fast, laughing as Quil started a steady growl.

"I do believe you're proving how afraid you are. That's fine. I'll fuck your imprint right here, and then rip her apart and fuck Leah in her blood."

"You won't touch EITHER of them!" Another voice growled. Jake stood in the wreckage of one of the windows. Bella wondered if they were all around. Quil took a step into the abandoned cabin and Bella watched as his eyes started to bleed until they were bathed in gold.

"Samuel Uley, you have abused your power as Alpha. You have forced a pack to come to subservience and you've conducted yourself in a manner unbefitting towards imprints. You have two options, relinquish your wolf AND your title as Alpha.. Or die."

Sam snarled at Quil's words before grabbing the hem of Bella's shirt and ripping it from her body. Bella squeaked and struggled to cover herself, fighting against another wave of complete nausea that Sam's hands were now touching the bare skin of her torso. She thanked whatever God was up there that she'd worn a normal shirt and bra instead of one of her corsets.

Quil glanced at Jake and they shared a quick nod before Jake launched himself at Sam, leaving Quil time to grab Bella from the surprised wolf's arms and thrust her at Leah. Leah dragged Bella back to a corner of the room as the two pounced on their Alpha, phasing mid leap. Sam took claws to the jaw as they phased so close and staggered. He looked over at them, skin hanging from the gash to his face. Bella watched, fascinated, as it knit together.

"You want to play, kids? Let's play! You're nothing but a couple of pups who need to be put in their place! YOU CAN'T WIN!"

(~)(~)(~)(~)(~)

**A/N- Hello readers! I am SO SORRY it took me so long to get this out. Everytime I thought I would be able to sit down and type, stuff would come up at work.. I was all set Friday to be able to update, but I was woken up to the news that after being in and out of the hospital all last week, my mother was rushed back to the hospital because she'd been having a heart attack. I want everyone to be clear- the arm tingle and shortness of breath are the CLEAR signs, but my mother showed NO signs. We thought she had food poisoning and that the constant nausea and chest pains were from that. DO NOT JUST ASSUME! Your health is important! And ALWAYS take time to relax. My mother's heart attack was not caused by her diet, but by so much stress making her heart weak. I implore you, dear readers, take care of yourselves! She is home now, but she is still weak and she has a LONG road to recovery.**

**Now that I'm done with my PSA, have a fantastic day/week/month of your life and I'll see you in the next chapter! WHO DO YOU THINK WILL WIN!? Who do YOU want to see as the new Alpha? Leave a review! **


	20. Chapter 20

It's been a long time coming  
>And the table's turned around<br>'Cause one of us is going  
>One of us is going down<br>I'm not running,  
>It's a little different now<br>'Cause one of us is going  
>One of us is going down<p>

"_**You're Going Down" by Sick Puppies**_

(~)(~)(~)(~)

Previously on Bloodstream:

_Quil glanced at Jake and they shared a quick nod before Jake launched himself at Sam, leaving Quil time to grab Bella from the surprised wolf's arms and thrust her at Leah. Leah dragged Bella back to a corner of the room as the two pounced on their Alpha, phasing mid leap. Sam took claws to the jaw as they phased so close and staggered. He looked over at them, skin hanging from the gash to his face. Bella watched, fascinated, as it knit together._

"_You want to play, kids? Let's play! You're nothing but a couple of pups who need to be put in their place! YOU CAN'T WIN!"_

(~)(~)(~)(~)

Leah pulled Bella against one of the dilapitated walls, tearing her jacket off to wrap it around her semi-nude friend. Before Bella could give her thanks, they grabbed each other as Sam let out an inhuman scream of rage that should have shattered his vocal chords before exploding into a giant mass of black fur and rage.

"Bella, we need to get out of here. Sam will rip us to shreds" Leah whispered. Bella glanced at Quil, fearful for him before nodding to Leah. They crawled out of the closest window and looked around, "I don't even know where we are!"

They were surrounded by woods..

Inside the cabin, Sam was livid that his prey had escaped him. 'You pups will die and I will find those whores and bring them back!'

'We forsake you' they chorused, and as soon as the ties that bound them to Sam were gone, they pounced in unison.

Sam spun quickly, causing their teeth to rip out chunks of flesh as they were flung off. He could no longer hear them, but it no longer mattered. He was feral, running off of the need for bloodshed. Seeing Jake in a corner, he pounced on the younger wolf, sinking his teeth into the sensitive skin of his underbelly as Jake rolled. The yonger wolf yelped but held strong as Quil charged forward and snapped his teeth into Sam's nape, ripping backwards to fling the older wolf off of his partner. Blood sprayed in an arch as Sam was tossed backwards, staining parts of Quil's light chocolate fur with copper coloring.

They two charged at once another, meeting in flashes of claws and teeth. Catching sight of an opening, Jake lunged forwards and raked a paw down Sam's right flank in an arc pattern, snapping the tendons of Sam's hind-leg. The Alpha fell harshly on the floor, struggling to get up and move to a more secure position.

'Jake, we can't let him heal. We need to finish this, NOW' Quil directed.

'What's the plan?' Jake asked as they began to circle the downed wolf. They were all bleeding and running out of adrenaline to fight. Jake was sure his jaw was dislocated from a swipe Sam had landed and Quil would need to re-break his leg so it could heal properly, lest he have a limp for life.

'Trap him like a leech and tag-team him to rip his head off?' Quil suggested. Jake nodded and they began to close in from both sides.

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Bella and Leah heard the sounds of the wolves die down and became worried. Together, they crept back up to the window they had escaped from and Leah gasped as she saw them circling Sam.

"NO! You can't kill him!" She screamed, causing the two circing wolves to look at her. The black wolf closed his eyes and a naked and bloody Sam was returned to the world. He hung his head down as he knelt on his knees.

"Please.." He pleaded. Confused, Quil and Jake took their own physical form. Bella rushed to Quil's side as he buckled under the weight, his damaged leg not strong enough.

"What do you ask?" Quil queried, pulling his mate to his side.

"I've been trapped in rage for a long time. I poisoned my wolf with my hatred and heartache. I've turned him feral and cold.. I was weak and I gave myself over." He looked up and met Quil's gaze with his own, clear one. "I deserve no less than death for what I've done. I've killed, I've maimed and I've plotted harm against my brothers. I have brought dishonor and am not worthy of the gift of the wolf. Please.. While I am clear-headed enough to see my crimes.. Please.. Kill me."

Leah buried her head in Jake's shoulder and sobbed, "This is my fault."

Jake tried to console her without getting too much blood on her, "It's not, Lee. You only wanted to help him.. To let him go."

"Leah. It's not your fault. I see that now. I see what you were trying to give me. Forgive me for hurting you.. For causing you pain."

"Only if you forgive me."

Sam nodded and looked back down at the floor, "The one who kills me will be Alpha.. Know that."

Quil and Jake exchanged glances before telling the girls to go outside. Silently, they complied and the two wolves phased back, gazing at the human who had been their Alpha and brother. They were solemn and discussed the matter before howling to signal the others to phase in.

One by one, the wolves gave their opinions. While they thought Sam was truly sorry, they realized that they had to honor his request. Sam wanted a way out. Sam was tormented and broken. They saw, through the breaking of the Alpha, all he had done. They saw the abuse he had put Emily through. They saw each plan to break them into phasing. They saw the destruction of a man and rise of a monster..

'Can we really do this?' Paul asked, making his way into the cabin.

The others were following behind, trying not to look too hard at the sobbing Leah being held in the arms of a half naked and haunted looking Bella..

'It's what he wants' Jake replied, glancing down at the man who had not moved for at least a half hour.

Jared phased back human and placed his hand on Sam's shoulder, causing the broken man to look at him.

"Sam, we've always been friends.. We grew up together. I know you lost your way, but are you sure? I don't want to kill you.." Tears slid down his face as he looked at his best friend.

"Jared, you've seen me.. Do you really think after all the bridges I've burned that there's a way back?"

Quil had heard enough.

"Paul.. Get Leah and Bella. Take them to Emily."

Paul raised an eyebrow, "What?"

"I SAID, take the girls and go to Emily's. ALL OF YOU."

Jared glared up at Quil, "You think I'm leaving YOU with him?"

Quil growled, "Everyone get the fuck out. NOW!" The walls vibrated with a mystical force. Slowly, they filed out of the building. Paul lifted Bella in his arms as Leah was taken by Jake.

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They all sat on Emily's porch despite the rain that had started once they arrived. Emily was staring almost soullessly into her tea cup, one of her hands clinging to Leah's.

"He wasn't a bad guy.. Not always." Leah whispered, breaking the silence. "He used to buy me flowers.. He held my hand everywhere we went because he said he wanted to show me off. I just wanted a better life for him.. And when he started pursing Emily after awhile, I was happy for him because I thought he could FINALLY be happy.."

A tear ran down Emily's scarred cheek, "Maybe if I had just accepted him, this wouldn't have happened."

Bella stared into the woods, at the exact spot she now knew Quil would exit from. The sun was starting to set and as the temperature dropped, they began to go inside one by one until it was just Bella and Paul..

"Pauly?" She whispered, causing the man's heart to ache at the sadness in her voice.

"Yeah, Bella?"

"Why hasn't he come back yet?"

Paul sighed and wrapped an arm around Bella, "I don't know.."

They sat there together, just waiting. They didn't move or speak..

The moon was high in the sky and the rain had slowed to a trickle.. They didn't know how long it had been..

Paul's head lifted when he heard rustling coming from the tree line. The pack swiftly filed out of the house and onto the porch as Quil's scent their nose.. Along with the smell of Sam's blood.

Quil seemed bigger when he broke through the treeline. He stood tall, covered in the streaked blood of Sam. It was as if he commanded attention.

"Alpha." Paul whispered.

Emily pushed through the wolves and gazed at Quil with dread in her eyes. Emily held her back, unsure of how this 'new' Quil would react if someone rushed at him. Bella stood, shaking Paul off of her as he tried to restrain her.

Quil remained silent and still as his eyes met hers and held. She could clearly see the flecks of gold, telling her he was still at one with his wolf but he was also still Quil...

She held her hand out to him...


	21. Chapter 21

I've given up my hand for a brother  
>Given up a hand for free<br>I've risen and forgiven and I've pardoned  
>But you set yourself free<p>

"**For a Brother" by Velvet Revolver**

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Quil stood for awhile watching her, never letting her eyes leave his.

'Her hand is held out, human male.' His wolf whispered.

'But is she afraid?' He replied before scenting the air.

Her scent did not give off fear, nor loathing or any other negative emotions. He only took the two steps forwards before she was running into his arms. He rocked back on one foot so she wouldn't be hurt when she collided with his hard chest, arms wrapping around her waist as she cupped his face in her hands and kissed him. She didn't care about the rain, she didn't care that he was covered in blood.

He broke away from her and it was almost like imprinting all over again. The raindrops in her hair sparkled like diamonds in the light of the moon and her skin was glowing. He was thankful that she had been given new clothes and that her skin no longer reaked of Sam's saliva.

She laced her fingers with his and gave him an encouraging smile before tugging him towards their friends.

Paul took a step forwards, "You didn't bring the body back?"

Quil's face was blank as he simply replied, "There is no body."

Emily pulled away from everyone and grabbed Quil's arm, "Please Quil. I have to know. I can't feel anything anymore. Where is Sam? Why is there no body?"

Quil eased away from her gently, "Emily, I care for you as an older sister so I don't want to taint you with the blood of your mate.."

Tears streamed down Emily's face as she dropped to her knees, staring at the ground. "He's gone then?"

Quil smirked, "Well I never said that, now did I?"

In a shuffling manner, Sam limped out of the darkness of the forest. His shoulders were slumped and there were fresh scars across his chest. Blood dripped in streams of rainwater down his skin to fall to the floor.

"Emily?" He whispered.

With a gasp she looked up, "SAM!"

She shot up, almost falling face first into the mud before running to Sam and throwing her arms around his neck, her tears mixing with his rain-blood mixture. Sam held her tightly and whispered over and over how sorry he was for everything he had done to her.

Bella smiled up at Quil, "I knew you couldn't kill him."

Quil kissed the top of her head, thinking back to those moments in the broken cabin.

"_Without all that you've done against us.. Do you really want to die, Sam?" Quil asked, falling into his butt to casually re-break his leg so it would set correctly._

"_No one wants to die, Quil. Not really. We think we do, but we don't."_

_Quil stared at him, keeping his face completely blank. _

"_Would you do it again?"_

_Sam snapped his head up, "What?"_

"_Would you do what you did to everyone all over again? Are you better now or are you afraid as soon as you phase that you'll kill everyone?"_

_Quil watched the sorrow and remorse fill Sam's eyes, "I don't want to be a monster."_

_Quil took a deep breath and stood, moving to stand over Sam before gripping the back of his neck. Sam tensed, thinking that Quil really hated him if he was going to simply snap his neck. It would be merciful though. No bloody death and his body would be able to be displayed for his mother.. _

"_Do you, Samuel Uley, former Alpha of the La Push protectors, submit the title of Alpha to me? Do you pledge your allegiance and faith? Do you swear, under Spiritual Bonds, that you will release all malice in your heart and join together with us as a FAMILY instead of a dictatorship?"_

_Tears streamed down Sam's cheeks as he understood what Quil was doing for him and for the pack.. For Emily, Leah and even Bella._

"_I do." _

"_Do you swear to treat your imprint, your gifted mate, fairly and with love? To protect her and banish anything she fears from her heart with your very breath?"_

_His heart clenched. He had wronged Emily. He had all but kept her as a whore and a slave some days and he wondered if he had ruined any chance he had to make his imprint happy.._

"_I do."_

"_Then rise, Sam. Rise, join my pack and LIVE."_

_Magic burst forth and the cabin became splinters. He looked up and saw Quil, standing taller and looking stronger. He embodied the Alpha in a way he was sure Jacob Black never would have. _

_Sam bared his neck, but Quil simply offered him a hand to stand. _

"_Thank you, Quil." He whispered. _

_Quil shrugged, "I figure I can always put you down if you try to go feral again. Sam, just like no one wants to truly die, no one wants to truly murder.."_

_Sam winced at the words, "I have a lot to try to make up for."_

"_Well then, let's go see if anyone misses you yet. We can spin it almost like watching your own funeral!"_

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Later that night, he stared at the ceiling as Bella laid sleeping on his chest. He could feel and hear more as the Alpha. He should be at peace, but he was not. He may have been "back with Bella" but they were not a Marked & Mated couple. He had spent nights reading through the old texts left in the study.

But was she ready for that?

He knew he would never be able to walk away, not that he would want to. But Bella had a choice. She had been a wreck before, but she had never gotten her closure. Everything was right, with the exception of the Cullens. Bella could leave him and go have a life free of the supernatural.

He kissed her on the forehead before sliding out of bed slowly and standing before the door to the one room that had been sealed since the owner had moved on to the Spiritual Plane...

But something was pushing him. He placed a solid hand on the door before slowly turning the knob. The scent hit him before it was even open and he was almost brought to his knees.

He jumped when he felt a hand on his back and turned to see the calm eyes of his imprint. She placed her other hand over his and together they pushed open the door...

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**A/N: WHAT A TWIST! Be honest. How many of you thought Sam was dead? I've gotten NOTHING from some loyal reviewers because I do believe they're mad at me.. I played the Schrodinger's Cat scenario for awhile and enjoyed it. Was Sam dead? Was Sam alive? Now you know. I am now going to go hide from JaspersDarlinKathy because I'm sure, after the torment and mourning she was put through, even though Sam's alive I am in trouble...**


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